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Do they go out of their way to make us jealous, even though they're the ones who basically left without reason?

It seems everytime I post on Facebook or Instagram, me having fun or doing stuff... she has to 'one-up' me and post a picture of her and her hilariously ugly replacement.

If so then, Why exactly... what are they gaining from trying to make us jealous.

Absolutely - Mine always tried that. She threatened to leave me so I left, so basically she left me as well but expected me to crawl back. That is what they want. Anything for a reaction. When they are with the new person they still fixate on the old.

She is jealous and makes her connection to you through these immature actions. This reinforces her connection to you. The replacement is probably hearing stories about you in a form of triangulation.

It is a way for her to project her jealously by making you jealous.

This was standard practice by my ex. She was getting jealous all the time and once she told me she didn't show it to me and instead engage in punishing behaviours because she didn't wanted to give me the pleasure that I make her jealous. She said she thought I did it on purpose.   This is paranoid thinking. I assured her that it is not in my best interests to do that since that makes her engage in hurtful behaviours that I don't enjoy... .Basically I was walking on eggshells NOT to make her jealous... .She seemed to believe me for a moment. She can't hold feelings of jealousy in her so she has to make you jealous so you hold those for her.

Wow that's kind of ___ed up :/.  So technically, shes leading this new guy on as well, thus using him.

Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do haha.  But a Moment of immaturity struck me... and I posted an instagram picture of halloween stuff with a caption reading, "What are you guys going to the party dressed as?"  And I proceeded to say that I was going as this and that... but basically labeling everything the replacement does.  Such as wearing huge snapbacks and etc.  And thats when her latest picture came up... but she usually does it all the time even if I post anything.  That was my first moment of immaturity thus far.  I've remained N/C 2 months

I suppose It's just hard to tell if these pictures are being used to make me jealous, or if shes just posting to post, and really happy inside.

But if they do all this stuff to make us jealous, and show off their replacement... Then do they even like the replacement?  Why would they be so focused on us and how we feel if they have a new lover that they love

The attachment is always being used. We were too. She has jealousy in general and she may be trying to displace it onto you as to not place it on her new attachement or possibly just trying to put it out there for whoever still feels an attachment to her. It's not personal and the attachment before you might be seeing it and thinkin the same thoughts as you.

Yeah they do. My ex always tries to get my attention. I deleted her off Facebook, so i don't know what she posts there, but at work she always talks about dates, on how much fun she is having, always looks at me from across the room etc.

It's a sick game. Just to try to get a reaction out of me.


Ignore ignore ignore ignore is the advice.

I have no idea what she does now and Im good with that. Social Media was the first to go. Since she rarely brought me around her friends, I have no connection to her through them. My kids dropped her as well from social media and such. This works for me. I do walk around in a funk wondering if and when Im going to run into them, but thats about all. Do yourseves a favor, cut all the cords. There is a reason we are all on here and its because of her/him leading us down a path thats hard to return from.

Ah I see.  However though, there is no attatchment before me.  I'm her first everything pretty much.  There was one other guy but he turned out to cheat on her and she knew but was too scared to be alone to care.  So she allowed him to cheat with MANY girls... I'm talking double digits.

I'm her longest relationship, first everything, so I don't know.  

Algae, I was her first guy. We got together while she was separated and then through the divorce. a year and a half together. I was used. Plain and simple. Now shes on to guy number 2, an old college buddy who is, looks wise, nothing like me. I live in fear of recycle and bumping into them around town. Trying to work on that but Im concerned I will always be a target of opportunity for her.

Why are you looking?

Delete and block on FB, Instagram, Whatsap, everything.

However hilarious you find it, it does you no good to waste your energy on this.

I know this question can only really be answered vaguely... but why do they do it?  They have a new lover right?  So why isn't all attention onto them?  

For them to Still be focused on manipulating our feelings and whatnot, must mean that they don't even like their new replacement at ALL, right?  And if they don't like their new replacement, then why do they go around posting pics and hanging with them and forcing themself into a relationship (talking for hours, and such).

I apologize, I just love asking questions to dig into the minds of peoples opinions and what these Sick BPD's are thinking

I believe in my heart (plese correct me if wrong) that they like seeing you miserable. They like that you have not REPLACED them yet. I think it really bothers them that you may be happy with or without someone else. Its like they think that they are not replaceable. I know there will be a time either out in town or via my sons volleyball, that I will see her and perhaps the replacement. I will not be held hostage to her abuse anymore. It may pain me to see them together, but they/she will never know it. Fake it till you make it... .