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I am in the process of knowing a new girl now. She is everything my BPD ex was not.

Positive, intelligent , stable, good communicator, honest, unmanipulative, no big relationship hunter (at least not yet).

I am supriced to see how I already have transformed to the better. I now love my work , stay focused , see my goals again , started solving problems, proactive.

All these traits of mine where abandoned when I went in my BPD fog, I am scared how personas close to me really influates me, it migt gives a clue that I have codependent issues.

Anyway , for every day that passing I am still in a aftermath shock about what did going on while I was occupied with my ex. It is like a SPELL has been broken , or waken from a unreal dream. How destructive this BPD manipulative behaviour have been , it totally made me passive. several moths I just gave up my work and read BPD litterature.


And all honour to you people on this place, that made me get rid of the BPD SO in my life, and help me overcome all my immature efforts to keep her.

Still, you want to take it slow. Make sure you're completely healed. The hurt tends to sneak up in funny ways and never at a good time.

Yiu are now officially my hero. Hope I can grow up to be you one day!

So good to read your post, so happy for you. Well done!

I'm getting there too. My mantra lately has been "She was not worthy of my love" and I keep asking myself, why did I put her on a pedastel? In the end she is best described as a damaged, mentally ill little girl. Once the fog lifts and you see the whole thing as the charade it really was it is happy days. I now know that she is totally incapable of having an adult relationship. Some days I still get pangs but they are getting rarer now.

Time to move on to the next beautiful chapter in my life.

Yay for us! :-)

... .and this is my second BPD encounter ,

because of the first I was able to detect some red lights and slowly abandon her, just use the object constanticy ... .if not on they radar , it's getting harder for them to obtain a reference of you.


She did make some frantic efforts to charm me in, she obtained a killer body and she was cabable of doing absolutely all the sexual stuff you can imagine to keep you close... .but she got no idea what intimazy even resembles ... .yes it takes some will power to it :)

the new person is positive , I feel reinforced just by being near her , the lack of manipulation is a reminder that a person add so much more to your life than manipulative sexuality. My ex needed a relationship , but she did not need the person behind , I was a tool for being manipulated, so she could have rs, her normalcy prop. I was always treathed as an option. Look world, I have "in a rs status on facebook", and a ring on my finger, I am normal!

She even tried to triangulate me during the honeymoon phase with her new bf, 'i am still a backup in her mentality, it is easier to suck me in , than to prepeare a new object.

My new potential partner is not a sex object , or do not have her porn star qualities, and thank for that, she is a real person that have real needs, she craves real needs back from me , and do not live in a fantasy sick world, that helps me back to the reality , to the fact I have to work with myself, deal with the real me.