BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone,

It has been a long, long, loong time since I have been on this board.  Even now, I waited about 5 or 6 weeks to post my question.

This board helped me through such horrid places and patches but I've had to stay away for a while as it kind of triggered things in me.  I am in such a completely different place now than when I used to frequent this board but I'm not at the very helpful stage to others, I don't think.

Let me just jump in then backtrack:

So I have had NO contact with BPD in over two years.  Years.  None.  Have not run into him, gotten or sent a text, call, email, nothing.  Even though I was a complete mess and so screwed up when it ended, I knew it needed to end.  So there was no turning back for me.  No reaching out.  I knew he was toxic, unhealthy, and that I needed to get myself out, for my own sake.  (This is one of the reasons I haven't been around much - I don't want to give the advice 'run, run as fast as you can' to everyone as that's probably not helpful.)

So when it was done, it was done.  We do have a mutual acquaintance on Facebook so I will see a photo of him occasionally but since I never comment on or like her stuff, it's not like he even knows I've seen it.

Anyway, I was trying to get my life back together and had been doing so much better (through hard work) for over two years.  My hatred of myself has lessened and I am trying to be more gentle to me.

So, about 5 weeks ago, out of the blue, I get an email from him.  The subject line says, 'hi.'  (I know it is not spam because of how our work emails works).  I didn't read it and haven't read it and don't want to read it.  I didn't open it as I knew he returns receipts every email he sends through work (he works at the same place, just not in my building anymore).  But I was cleaning out my work inbox yesterday and came across it sitting there again.  I don't know how to delete it without it looking like I opened it.

I know they try to recycle.  I know they will rise out of the blue like a scepter.  But what I want to know is - will he contact me again?  Was it right not to open it?  Do you think he got the message?  At first I thought if I opened it and he got the return receipt but I never responded that he would get the message.  I won't open it now but for the next time.

And I know the other part of it is - we just can't guess what someone with BPD will do.

I just want it done.  I want no more contact.

if it was me I would just delete it . even if he seen you opened it. I took my ex back after two years of nothing and it turned into hell again so just be careful. wishing you the best.

Delete... .just delete  |iiii

Congrats to you on your strength! I too took the run attitude and never looked back. My breakup is only 2 1/2 months ago but I felt exactly the same. Run, run, run and never look back, it's been a savior to me. I never put him on my social network because I was never comfortable with his control issues and only saw that as nothing good will come from it, so therefore I said no to his many sarcastic comments about us not being friends there. I also didn't want him to monitor my time and comments, so no I would not allow it!


I would delete the message without opening it in a bulk delete of other email, then it doesn't have to be opened and that itself makes a statement.

Opening it even to delete it might be seen in his warped mind of your interest and could possibly start a recycle, or friend attempt. We know those don't work!


Keep staying strong! You're doing great! Have you dated since? What has your life been like two years out? Please post!

Rifka

Thank you so much everyone!

So each time he sends one (assuming he will do it again in two years       ) just keep on deleting, right?

Part of me wants to open the next one just because he is such a blackmailer and to try to stay one step ahead of him but I know with this kind of thing, there's no such thing... .