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I usually turn to music to help me allow myself to get in tune with my emotions, however, I knew that in my current situation it would render the blow much deeper.  I didn’t want to torture myself with songs of what might have been nor did I want to listen to anything up beat.  I’ve been looking through collection seeking music that is a soothing yet allowed me to live in the moment.  I came across this gem titled: “Sleep Well My Angel” by We are The Fallen.  I don’t know if this is the appropriate place to post this if anywhere, but due to me being on the fence of my relationship, I find it to be therapeutic in the most profound way.  Here are the lyrics:

1.Watching you sleep for so long

Knowing that I can't turn the rain into sun

Anymore

I've given you all that I am

Now I stand here too scared to hold your hand

Afraid you might wake to see

The monster that had to leave

2.Cause you see the shelter as the storm

Holding wind to keep you warm

You are everything to me

This is why I have to leave

So sleep well, my angel

3.Under the ash of the lies

Something beautiful once here now dies

And the tears burn my eyes

As you sit there all alone

I just want to come home

2.But you see the shelter as the storm

Holding wind to keep you warm

You are everything to me

This is why I have to leave

So sleep well, my angel

Sleep well, my angel

4.I'm sorry (x4)

2.You see the shelter as the storm

Holding wind to keep you warm

You are everything to me

This is why... .

The vocals are beautiful, the melody is captivating, and I feel as if it encapsulates my internal struggles.  The first section (1.) outlines my despair and my S/O strife.  I know that despite my greatest efforts I simply can’t “fix” things for her.  “The monster that had to leave” refers to my anger and my resentment that has been building. I realize that she is sick but my heart is still grieving. The next section (2.) is how my love travels through her life.(from what I’ve been told past and present)  She is her own worst enemy and has stated the same. She finds solace in mayhem and rides the coat tails of the unknown.  Rather than facing any demons head on she just flails through life.  I know that she is ill and I just want her to find some internal peace. I am doing my best to stand by her side. The next part (3.) is my favorite section.  It is sung with so much passion I feel as if she is singing to my heart.  Our relationship at one time was something incredible and has deteriorated into what seems like a post apocalyptic world.  She has surrounded herself with walls and solitude and all I want to do is make her see what I see in her. Repeat part (2.)  Part (4.) The artists says I’m sorry 4x.  Each time it is repeated it is sung with more heart, the music gets louder, her tone more devastating but powerful.  I do regret that my heart is reaching it’s breaking point, but this situation is consuming me with anguish. The last part (2.) Is repeated 2x.  It is the loudest and most powerful part of the ballad.

I know this is a giant wall of text but this song truly does give me some sort of peace.  In some weird way it allows me to validate my feelings of confusion.  If you seeking shelter FROM the storm... .maybe getting in tune to with your emotions with the assistance of this song will give you some WARMTH. 

xo