BPDFamily.com

Good Morning world! |iiii

It has taken me till now to realize it isn't me! Wow

Now I have to learn how to cope and to forgive myself for not being able to help or see that I needed to learn what was happening all over again in my life wasn't my bad parenting but that my daughter and her daughter struggle with BPD. My daughter is grown and on her own but I have adopted her daughter.

I took custody of her daughter my grand daughter in 2001. It has been till now for me to see that my biological daughter has BPD.  A couple of years ago my adopted daughter started on that same path. Till now I had never heard of BPD. Now I need to catch up so I can help my daughter.

She goes from sweet to mean as a snake in the blink of an eye. I adopted her brother who is 2 years older. Now I am trying to teach and help both of us cope and help his sister my daughter to help herself. I have just started reading "Stop Walking on Eggshells."

My daughter is in counseling and goes  once a week. Her counselor says she can help her learn to cope with BPD but wasn't ready to totally say she is BPD. She displays signs but she isn't there yet. Some times I wish she would just live in my world for a few days and she would see it.

A week ago Saturday my daughter flipped out and started breaking and pounding on things over a misplaced 20 dollar bill she couldn't find in her room. I called the police to take her to a behavioral unit here in town. I was afraid for her and us. Most say it is like living in hell and I must admit that is true. I am at a loss many of times of how to help her calm down or walk away till she can see things rationally if at all possible.

Her mother, my oldest daughter still struggles with her coping skills and sometimes still lashes out at me trying to make me the bad guy.  

Any words of wisdom is more than appreciated. When you live in this world of chaos with a daughter it is difficult to have friends and family understand.

Hello lisakc112

I am so glad that you have found this site. Your situation sounds challenging.

How old is your adopted daughter/granddaughter?

. As you will be aware there is a biological link with BPD but there is also an environmental aspect.

There is a lot of advice and support available on the board for parents Parenting a son or daughter suffering from BPD board (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=4.0)

There are many of us there with adult children and adolescent children with BPD and also with concerns about grandchildren.

There are other people there who have taken on full responsibility for grandchildren and they will be very eager to discuss things with you and offer what help they can.

To the top of the page on the parent's board there are "lessons" (what can a parent do?) which you may find it helpful to read.

I really sympathize that you are seeing similar problems unfolding again but the good news is that there are ways of managing this that can reduce conflict and help you to stay strong and look after yourself.

I really hope that you will join us on the parent's board-it is a very supportive place. I will look out for you there.