BPDFamily.com

I used to send my exBPDgf text messages like we do and have done.

However, if i sent a text which was just about a general topic  i.e  how is the weather where you are? or Have you seen  so and so today ?  there was usually no reply back to those types of text messages.

If i sent a text message that was about her or how she was etc  she always replied back.

Is this common for pwBPD ?

I don't know specifically about texting, but I do know that if I ever wanted my xbf's attention, all I had to do was focus all of mine... .on him.  He has a knack for turning every conversation back around to himself, although he is somewhat aware of it and jokes about it (hahahaha), he never changed it.

In a way, I became manipulative, myself, bc if I felt I needed a connection, I knew what button to push.  It was the "let's talk about you and your feelings" button.  Worked every. single. time.

In early summer after things went to ___, when I was texting my ex she basically never responded. But then, one time I sent "XXXXX, what the ___ are we doing?" And immediately I got a "What do you mean?", 30 minutes later followed by "?" and "how's therapy going?" hahaha, so I guess it's possible to spark their interest...

heres a thought... .dont

It's overgeneralized with texting and a pwBPD. Some people don't reply because their busy, forget whatever the case may be.

In the context of BPD behaviors and splitting and furthermore being split black, yes its as if you don't exist. You may be connected while in the r/s keeping in light or heavy contact and it can abruptly end if they have found another attachment. It's not clinical, I'm sharing my experience and I've read it numerous times on the board. Radio silence from a pwBPD when split black. I hope that helps.

--Mutt

She doesn't want to converse normally, she wants to be paid attention. Asking about the weather, possibly a conversation starter between folk, isn't about her.

You've been broken up for a while, right? What are you getting out of the repeated engagement?

I want to echo what Mutt said. There are any number of reasons a person could choose not to reply to a text. If I had broken up with somebody and they continued to text me, I would be a bit confused and not respond either.

Also, make sure that you are not expecting too much. My spouse could probably say the same about me when I don't always answer him. The reason that I don't always answer him is because I get busy. There was a period of time when I was expected to have the phone by me at all times. I don't know why but that was the expectation. One night, I was cleaning my kids rooms and forgot to bring a phone with me. My mother sent my nephews over to check on me because I didn't answer my phone for a couple of hours. And my husband did the same thing. He would call me 4 or 5 or 6 times in the course of an 8 hour work day. And he would have nothing to say. I am at home taking care of 4 kids during the day. Answering every single text, email, and phone is NOT my priority. It was so frustrating when he would call on one phone and I wouldn't answer so he would call on my cell. He would keep calling and calling and calling until I answered the phone. It drove me crazy to have somebody want to be in that much contact with me all the time. And no, I wasn't afraid of engulfment or some other psychological BS. It was a matter of practicality.

So look at how often you are texting her. Is it once a day, once every other day, or some other frequency?

My expBPD was very engaged in reciprocating nicety type texts during idealization.  Always.  After this phase ended, he was the one in control of when he would text or answer my text.  It was like a 360 turn in the road from someone who texted and  responded so lovingly to someone who blew me off.  Of course if the topic was about him , he was always engaged.  Then, would drop right off again.