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Title: Slow progress Post by: Deeno02 on November 01, 2014, 08:17:00 AM Im thankful that I didnt get the cheating part of it. I just got the devaluation, snark, mental hell, a slow process. Damaged the hell out of me. Ashamed, guilty, tightrope walking, minefield walking, could never do anything right, squeezed out of her life. This was worse than my divorce to my wife of 18 years. While its only been 2 months b/u, im getting slightly better, getting out more, but im still damaged badly. Badly. Therapy is helping.
Title: Re: How do you deal? Post by: Mutt on November 01, 2014, 10:56:21 AM This was worse than my divorce to my wife of 18 years. While its only been 2 months b/u, im getting slightly better, getting out more, but im still damaged badly. Badly. Therapy is helping. I hear you Deen02. A break-up with a PD was the hardest thing I went through. Keep going to T and work through the 5 stages of detachment. Rethink about how you feel after more time. I look at it as an attachment -- BPD is an attachment. She couldn't cope because she fears abandonment. She was acting out her core wound with me and wasn't facing her fears. It's not something that I can help her with or do for her. I let go. Let god. That being lovethebeach, yes time heals. I suggest working through the 5 stages of detachment if you haven't checked the lessons to the right----------------------------> Attachment leads to suffering. Detachment leads to freedom. I hope that helps. --Mutt Title: Re: How do you deal? Post by: Deeno02 on November 01, 2014, 11:03:59 AM This was worse than my divorce to my wife of 18 years. While its only been 2 months b/u, im getting slightly better, getting out more, but im still damaged badly. Badly. Therapy is helping. I hear you Deen02. A break-up with a PD was the hardest thing I went through. Keep going to T and work through the 5 stages of detachment. Rethink about how you feel after more time. I look at it as an attachment -- BPD is an attachment. She couldn't cope because she fears abandonment. She was acting out her core wound with me and wasn't facing her fears. It's not something that I can help her with or do for her. I let go. Let god. That being lovethebeach, yes time heals. I suggest working through the 5 stages of detachment if you haven't checked the lessons to the right----------------------------> Attachment leads to suffering. Detachment leads to freedom. I hope that helps. --Mutt Mutt, she could have had it all. A loving guy to her and her 5 kids, my kids loved her. But i have to say, i dont miss the chaos. I miss them all, but not the chaos Title: Re: Slow progress Post by: Mutt on November 01, 2014, 11:09:35 AM I understand Deeno02. I can say with confidence that mine will likely not get a better man than me in her life. Feelings are quicksilver to a pwBPD and she lacks impulse control. It's hard to watch someone throw everything away.
I'm with you. I do not miss the chaos in my life or in my home. The new bf keeps her busy and keeps the chaos away from me. |