BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: thatwasthat on November 01, 2014, 07:42:15 PM



Title: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: thatwasthat on November 01, 2014, 07:42:15 PM
Music helped me through the hardest times. It helped me open up and lean into the pain when I couldn't. It helped me understand. Keep in touch with myself. Feel understood when nobody was there to listen.

In short it was a constant companion on my journey to feeling better.

Actually I still have all the playlists. And it is quite interesting how they mirror my healing progress. I am tempted to write about it.

But for now I want to share a song that I was only able to really take in lately.

I hope you have a nice day/evening/night.

You're not in this alone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYkBxwbcZKE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYkBxwbcZKE)


Title: Re: For all of you.
Post by: Junknown on November 01, 2014, 09:43:37 PM
Nice music, thanks for sharing!  |iiii


Title: Re: For all of you.
Post by: BuildingFromScratch on November 02, 2014, 05:06:01 AM
I've found that Pink Floyd - The Wall, Nico - The Marble Index and the song "Fix You" by Coldplay have all helped me a lot. Although I think I'm gonna need to search for  more positive music soon, lol. I liked the song you linked, thanks!


Title: Re: For all of you.
Post by: Butterfly44 on November 02, 2014, 05:38:17 AM
Thank you, thank you thatwasthat! That has just really made me smile... .|iiii

That's going on my playlist right now!


Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: ducklings12345 on November 02, 2014, 08:22:23 AM


Lovely up beat healing track ... .thanks for sharing, keeps things positive when sometimes they can feel overwhelmingly negative! 


Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: thatwasthat on November 04, 2014, 11:00:00 PM
Thought I might share some music in this thread from time to time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChvtO8_nYck (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChvtO8_nYck)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZU6Bzyt6Y4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZU6Bzyt6Y4)

(the second one might be somewhat triggering for people that are at the moment really battling, so keep that in mind.)


Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: Blimblam on November 04, 2014, 11:16:47 PM
I found music to help also. I focused on music that helped me to get in touch with the pain and suffering.


Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: thatwasthat on November 04, 2014, 11:53:16 PM
I found music to help also. I focused on music that helped me to get in touch with the pain and suffering.

Same here. I actually used different songs like different "pills."

Some songs really opened up the flood gates... .lol


Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: ADecadeLost on November 11, 2014, 10:12:24 PM
I'm a little late to the party, but for some reason this song has resonated with me as I work through things. 

Tropical London - Rancid

www.youtube.com/watch?v=palaQyQqhYg

It's punk and may not be many folks ideal genera, but the lyrics feel all too familiar to me.  And this part in particular just helps me feel better:

"If you lose me, you lose a good thing, that's one thing I know for sure.

If you lose me, girl, you lose a good thing, that's one thing I know for sure."

Singing those lines was a nice little confidence boost during the weeks immediately following my ex leaving me.


Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: ATLandon on November 11, 2014, 10:33:53 PM
Music has always been extremely therapeutic for me. I have a hard time getting in touch with my own emotions, so it definitely acts as a catalyst to get things out in the raw.

This album, "More Than You Think You Are" by Matchbox 20 got me through a breakup with a woman who had BPD qualities. I'm already listening to it again this go around. The song ":)isease," especially sums up my current feelings about my uBPDwife.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=H81cfoICzZo

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNSOqSsqEcw


Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: hergestridge on November 12, 2014, 01:42:11 AM
Funny that this came up for discussion. When I was still with my BPDw I couldn't stand sad, emotional music.

Now that I'm out of it I can listen to all those records again.

Marble Index and the Wall are actually two of those records I couldn't stand but that I'm finding my way back to.

Two weeks ago I sat and listened to Pink Floyd's The Final Cut, sang along and cried like a baby! :-D Truly catharctic and very liberating. Finally in touch with my feelings again.


Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: ATLandon on November 12, 2014, 10:20:22 AM
My recurring breakup playlist for now:

-"November Rain," by Guns N' Roses

-"You Give Love a Bad Name," by Bon Jovi

-":)evil In Disguise," ":)on't Be Cruel," and "Suspicious Minds" by Elvis Presley

-"Foundations," by Kate Nash

-"Cry Me A River," by Ella Fitzgerald

-"Tainted Love," by Soft Cell

-"Wonderwall," by Oasis

-"Hurt," either by Nine Inch Nails or Johnny Cash

-"Smile," by Lily Allen


Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: neverloveagain on November 13, 2014, 02:00:02 AM
"Please"

this is how

it begins

push it away but it all comes back again

all the flesh

all the sin

there was a time when it used to mean just about everything

just like now

breathe, echoing the sound

time starts slowing down

sink until I drown

(please) I don't ever want to make it stop

and it keeps repeating

will you please complete me?

never be enough

to fill me up

watch the white

turn to red

it fills up the hole but it grows somewhere else instead

all my life

yeah yeah yeah yeah, but it just left me dead

(well guess what?)

the world is over and I realize it was all in my head

now everything is clear

I erase the fear

I can disappear

(please) I don't ever want to make it stop

you can never leave me

will you please complete me

never be enough

to fill me up

usic helped me too listening and writing my own to let the pain out. Me and my BPDexgf were really into the rock thing one of her favourite songs is please by nin says a lot i never noticed before.



Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: Fluff on November 13, 2014, 03:04:58 AM
I never listened to music with vocals until after this breakup. :D

In the beginning when I was mourning and just discovered BPD I listened a lot to Katie Melua - Just like Heaven.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmJFxUegONQ


And later, in phases of anger and acceptance, I listened a lot to Phil Collins - Easy Lover :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOXvnGPzDYc


Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: rubyhammer on November 16, 2014, 06:39:39 PM
I couldn't find working link to it but…"The Sunset Tree" by The Mountain Goats has really helped me.  I haven't been on the boards in a few months, been busy getting divorced from my uBPDw.  We've been divorced officially now since October 1st, living separately since September 1st.  All I can say is I'm glad I have custody of my D9.  Other than that it's just plain hard.


Title: Re: Music helped me through the hardest times.
Post by: Ex-Dreamboy on November 16, 2014, 07:43:29 PM
"I'll Take the Rain" by R.E.M. could practically be the official anthem of the Leaving board, it seems to me:

"I used to think

As birds take wing

They sing through life so why can't we?

You cling to this

You claim the best

If this is what you're offering

I'll take the rain

I'll take the rain

I'll take the rain."

The official animated video is super-triggering (at least for me), but if you're ever in a mood to really cry it out (or test your resistance to triggers, haha), take a look: www.youtu.be/JlIj6BxUS6E