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Title: Every two weeks... Post by: Chasing_Ghosts on November 02, 2014, 04:32:36 AM So I get a text from her. Its weird... like she cant go without texting me at least every two weeks. I assume this is just her pattern. Doesnt bother me as im pretty detached anymore and ill respond friendly. Idk as weird as it is i like her checking in with me. I guess im to the point where im kinda past the hurt and i just care about her enough to still have her in my life. Were not exactly friends... not exactly lovers. Something inbetween. And tbh i think its whats best for us. Yes i love her and wish things could work out in the future but until she gets treatment i think this is all either of us can handle. With me working on myself in therapy it helps me not get overly involved with her stuff as well. For now i think this is our balance.
Title: Re: Every two weeks... Post by: Chasing_Ghosts on November 02, 2014, 04:34:36 AM so i just double posted... my computer was acting all wonky so i didnt think the first one posted... but it did... can this second thread be deleted? lol
Title: Re: Every two weeks... Post by: guy4caligirl on November 02, 2014, 05:35:19 AM So I get a text from her. Its weird... like she cant go without texting me at least every two weeks. I assume this is just her pattern. Doesnt bother me as im pretty detached anymore and ill respond friendly. Idk as weird as it is i like her checking in with me. I guess im to the point where im kinda past the hurt and i just care about her enough to still have her in my life. Were not exactly friends... not exactly lovers. Something inbetween. And tbh i think its whats best for us. Yes i love her and wish things could work out in the future but until she gets treatment i think this is all either of us can handle. With me working on myself in therapy it helps me not get overly involved with her stuff as well. For now i think this is our balance. Its ok you don't have to delete just keep on going you will soon know how to navigate this site lost a infoes here good luck Title: Re: Every two weeks... Post by: Mutt on November 06, 2014, 01:22:18 AM I understand her texts are confusing Chasing _Ghosts. She lacks object constancy and it's her way of checking that you're still there. She has difficulties with remembering. This is the disorder.
BPD BEHAVIORS: Lack of object consistency (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=70884.0) Randi Kreger said this. Though brief, thought it might help. "Lack of Object Constancy: When we're lonely, most of us can soothe ourselves by remembering the love that others have for us. This is very comforting even if these people are far away-sometimes, even if they're no longer living. This ability is known as object constancy. Some people with BPD, however, find it difficult to evoke an image of a loved one to soothe them when they feel upset or anxious. If that person is not physically present, they don't exist on an emotional level. The BP may call you frequently just to make sure you're still there and still care about them. (One non-BP told us that every time her boyfriend called her at work, he introduced himself using both his first and last name.)" |