BPDFamily.com

Hi there, this suggested I post an intro so here goes... I'll briefly summarise things as I'll post more tomorrow on my present situation.

Met my ex over two years ago. After six months of friendship, we entered a relationship. We broke up four times, me choosing to (physically) leave each time, with the last time being late Feb 2014.

After seven months of no contact and some reflection, I decided to contact her. That was about 6 weeks ago.

In that time we have laughed, been intimate, been close. We have also fought, the past has reared it's head and is driving a lot of her current emotions.

6 days ago, she got upset over the fact she felt I was hiding her from friends and family (which, admittedly, I had done before). However, this was based on incomplete information... .The reality being that all my friends and family know I'm working on myself and want to be the best I can to make the relationship work.

She emailed me something along the lines of... It hurts being with me, it hurts being without me, though she was choosing the latter as eventually the hurt would go.

After 4 days of no contact, I asked to spend the day with her, and it developed into a rage. I was calm, though probably not as effective at validating as I would have liked. She texted later that day (yesterday) saying my number and email were blocked, all the things I'd given her had been thrown out, and she never wanted to hear from me again.

So much for the intro being brief. Lol. Long story short, she goes away on a holiday in two days. I love her and want to make this work. Not sure how but I'll be touching base before she leaves, acknowledging her request for no contact, wishing her a safe trip and reiterating that I'm here if she wants to talk, whenever that may be. I believe that's all I can do. I just want to smooth things over before she goes, for both our sakes. Of course, she will only see that if she checks her spam texts.

So, I'll be using the four weeks to work on myself more. I have two psych sessions this week, working on my own role in the relationship, and start seeing a Buddhist monk on Friday which will continue once a week for six weeks.

It will be hard being away from her. Still, I know if things are going to turn around I need to work on me and what I can do more effectively.

That's my story. Talk to you all around the forums soon :)

BH

Welcome to the forum!

What has led you to believe that she may have Borderline Personality Disorder?

Thank you.

She was diagnosed about four years ago now.

She has seen a psychologist that whole time, tried meds but the side effects made them not effective, and recently started a very expensive schema therapy program, which will recommence in march with the best psych in our city.

Abandonment, judgement, shame, not feeling listened to or understood - real or perceived - are among her greatest fears and triggers.