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Title: realizing I shouldn't stay Post by: blueeyes567 on November 03, 2014, 09:04:21 AM I have been posting on the wanting to work it out forum but came to a realization this morning that I think I want out. My wife was diagnosed with BPD and PTSD. She has had one episode in the past 5 years that we have been together. It was not as bad as our current situation but she was sexually chatting with multiple guys online. 3 weeks ago she physically cheated on me with a random person from Craigslist. We have been going to therapy together separate group and so on. We have been trying to work things out but I just found out yesterday that she was still going on Craigslist last week and hinting towards guys where we live. We have a three year old daughter and she has already been out on a friend date with a Predator last week from Craigslist and I now fear that her destructive behavior is putting myself and our daughter in danger.I have no idea where to begin to start to leave. I have set boundaries and those boundaries repeatedly get broken and I think I am done. I have lost my best friend and soulmate but need to move on for my sake and our daughter. The woman my wife is now I do not know her.
Title: Re: realizing I shouldn't stay Post by: Lucky Jim on November 03, 2014, 11:07:12 AM Hey blueeyes, Like a lot of us Nons, you sound loyal and committed to your dBPDw. Yet, as I learned, there comes a point where one's loyalty and commitment are misplaced. The tipping point is different for everyone, yet I suspect is comes from an awareness that one has tried everything, to no avail. When you get there, you'll know it. And maybe you already have. Lucky Jim
Title: Re: realizing I shouldn't stay Post by: Indyan on November 15, 2014, 02:28:59 PM Hey blueeyes, Like a lot of us Nons, you sound loyal and committed to your dBPDw. Yet, as I learned, there comes a point where one's loyalty and commitment are misplaced. The tipping point is different for everyone, yet I suspect is comes from an awareness that one has tried everything, to no avail. When you get there, you'll know it. And maybe you already have. Lucky Jim Well said. For me it was last week. No idea if there's a way back after this. "The woman my wife is now I do not know her." Blueeyes, this reminds of my first topic here, about 2 months ago, entitled "the man I once knew is dead". That's how it felt for me, and still does. I used to love someone and the man I see today has nothing in common with him. The one I loved was easy-going, crazy scientist kind of man (I used to call him Doc, referring to Back to the Future), lacked organization totally, romantic and kind. Today he's paranoid, calculates every thing, writes letters to administration, seems to have to remorse putting the kids and me in the sht etc. I know it's hard, hang in there. |