BPDFamily.com

... .my dBPDw left with the kids last year. We went to divorce court and I got majority custody of the kids. We didn't follow through with the divorce so now we are just separated. The kids are with me 75% of the time although there is no set schedule for custody/visitation. I have been paying everything for my wife basically. However, she applied for food stamps and Medicaid. She refuses to get a job. Am I going to be hit up for child support?

She may not be reporting all the information those agencies require.  On the other hand, the agencies may not care about such things that once were crucial details to prove in order to get subsidies.  Hard to know what she is doing there and I don't know whether you can get the information from them to find out.  (Thank you HIPAA and the Administration for making even some spousal information Private or just who-cares superfluous.)

In my case I never knew what my ex filed.  She had Medicaid of some sort for my son until she lost majority time.  I did see the ID number on some pediatrician paperwork but nothing more, she steadfastly refused to give me a copy and no one cared to get it for me, not even court.

Could she use her claims as documentation to claim she has the children more than she really does?  That might be a lawyer question.  But whatever the status of what she does, you need your own supporting documentation to court whatever she may claim in the future, you need to be documenting your time, exchanges, appointments and activities with the children.  Do you use a log, journal or calendar?  I have used Week-at-a-Glance planners since 2006 and am just finishing up my 2014 planner.  Quite a handful to lug to court but I did what I had to do.

In my state (and some others I have dealt with), if the parent gerts food stamps and medical it is because they are a) the majority time or custodial parent or b) claiming they are majority time or custodial parent. And the state then goes after the percieced non custodial parent to make them pay child support. If you have majority time with your kids, she may have lied and is committing welfare fraud. You really need to speak to someone. You can call social services up and explain that you have majority time and are paying for kids medical so don't understand how ex has gotten it through the state. You can also talk to a lawyer. Or both. If they find she got them illegally, she will be required to pay back.

I am not sure how I would prove they spend the majority of their time here. Nevertheless, I have spoken to my attorney. He said just to let him know if I get something from Social Services.

Normally you could just point to your parenting schedule and prove your case right there.  But without something official in writing that's not possible.  That's why you ought to document very well where the children are.  A general claim "I have the children most of the time" will almost certainly be ignored.  That's where documentation comes in, specifics do help.

The better scenario is to get something official in writing what the reality is, but doing that can trigger obstruction and sabotage, especially if she knows it is to disprove her basis for subsidies.  Eventually I think you'll need to get that done.  For that reason I'd suggest you not try to reason with her about what she's done or even tell her you know.  Don't get in the middle, she won't listen to you anyway.

Do you have Legal Separation?  Or just in separate residences?  I ask because if not legally separated they may seek some level of payback from you.

Edit:  I just looked back over the posts and this is my unknown quantity... .What is "majority custody" if you don't have a schedule?

Oh, I do keep a journal. I document what I can. I do not have anything official to prove right out I have the kids most of the time. I think there are a few things I could use to show it is very likely I do.

As far as being recycled, I understand what you are saying. But, overall, I am still in good shape should something go down. I don't let me wife know about anything that deals with legal matters.

Unless she created fake applications for benefits, she actually appears to have been honest. It doesn't appear I will have to pay child support (according to my attorney).

Thanks for the help. If you have any other advice, please give it.