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Please help after reading my post I am confused and limited to business contact only .

I had never gone through this mad love and hate at the same time .here is how my story goes :


After 5 years RS with my ex Gf BPD she has been gone to another state living with two nice gay friends of her , she did the silent treatment I did what everyone did anger bargaining  and so on . She needs money so she ask me if she can get her job back as a buyer like we always did when together btw she is good choice so I agreed something is better than nothing  at it and can really help she set boundaries and said as long as I don't mention anything personal I had no choice but to accept and go on with it she is thrilled with idea and deposited a small amount in her bank account she texted me back and said the sweetest words since she broke up with me : "I thank god for you "

As  she lives in another state so our business would be text fax emails phone calls .and in one month we have a buying show to attend together I have no idea how am I to manage my presence around her not because I am scared but I can't read her thoughts you all know that .

Today she is creating a new email just for the business and said it's a fresh new beginning no residual negative personal energy that was formally related with her personal email .and she will email me from this new email as soon as she sets it up and we'll forget this one ever existed

If I mention relationship I might loose her for ever but am not , so that is a good way to keep her coming for more she

missed the shop and the buying , I think its going to help her regain some confidence in me and hopefully I will be in the white

Could that be her way to get close to me again using the business friendship so she can establish a start point  baby steps ?

Please help me I really don't want build up hope for nothing I could have easily said no to the job offer but she needs the money and she feels better working for it and she is very exited about it like a child with a new toy , but I am doing this to get her to put back in the white selfish I know but what else I can do ?

hi guy4.


have you worked through the lessons "Choosing a Path" on the right hand side of this page, opposite your post? those lessons have been developed by experienced students of BPD, and will help you gain perspective.

guy4, you may be undecided, but she doesn't seem to be. that's hard to accept. speaking of perspective, how do things look to her? she has friends to live with, and you for money. of course she thanks god for you. you keep giving, with no sign of reciprocation that i can see. how long do you want to persist in a situation like that?

You are right Maxen

She insists on business only but she also  switches to friendly talk and stop when she had enough , and she thinks she is the boss and sets time to talk on the phone as she pleases but when I do she doesn't answer if she is doing her thing... .talk today at 12 am.

So I don't feel good about that but today I kind of set my own boundaries .

Today when we were texting I kind of text her you don't have to keep reminding me business only .I have someone I have been seeing someone for now nothing serious , and there no coming back here I said .

I  know she got mad and slowed down the conversation , but you know the more I think about it I really don't need her anymore I read so much and know it's Big trouble why waste all that 4 months worth of recovery learning improving myself for recycling it's just takes time and I will find someone normal but I don't feel like it at this time maybe latter perhaps ?

Today I am buying that book codenpdency no more I have a mild symptoms of codenpdency ,

To tell you the truth I am really don't know should I put up with this business deal or should I quit I gave her that chance to get her excited and have a few bucks , it just started , like yesterday she fell asleep all day till 5 pm  lol

woke up apologetic practice my SET and today she is ok should I continue or tell her I am going to give my new relation a chance I am in the dark of what her state of mind is or even giving it a thought of coming back but I feel being used again but not for long this time .

Please help me see the light and decide ?