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Title: My final question Post by: jammo1989 on November 09, 2014, 04:29:18 PM Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for a while, as I have been feeling a lot better recently, and I wish you all the same, it will come in time I promise! After hours of research I realised about a month a go that my ex was in fact HPD. My final question for closure regarding this disorder is this: Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? I've come to realise that my ex has kept all her exes on FB even if no contact is initiated, so why am I the only guy to be given the never contact me again treatment? Currently 2 months NC. Thank you all Title: Re: My final question Post by: DangIthurts on November 09, 2014, 04:34:23 PM To me two months doesn't sound like a long time... .I was blown off asking to spend face to face time for a month even though I was getting text contact daily.
I think 6-12 I'd officially say thats whats going on again though judging by what i've read around here you never know as they're all different. Title: Re: My final question Post by: fred6 on November 09, 2014, 04:53:18 PM Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for a while, as I have been feeling a lot better recently, and I wish you all the same, it will come in time I promise! After hours of research I realised about a month a go that my ex was in fact HPD. My final question for closure regarding this disorder is this: Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? I've come to realise that my ex has kept all her exes on FB even if no contact is initiated, so why am I the only guy to be given the never contact me again treatment? Currently 2 months NC. Thank you all Hey jammo, wondering where you been for the past couple weeks. Glad you're feeling better. I'm not sure about you're ex. But mine doesn't contact any of her ex's to my knowledge. She has some weird type of independence/stubbornness about her. I don't know about her prior partners, but after the things she has done to me, she is probably shameful and knows that she was wrong. She portrays herself as a Godly person, but if she contacted me, she knows that she would have to be accountable for her actions and she would have to admit the type of person that she REALLY is. It would be too painful for her. It's much easier for her to put me completely out of her life, out of sight out of mind. I guess she's repressing her issues rather than dealing with them. Title: Re: My final question Post by: jammo1989 on November 09, 2014, 05:02:37 PM Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for a while, as I have been feeling a lot better recently, and I wish you all the same, it will come in time I promise! After hours of research I realised about a month a go that my ex was in fact HPD. My final question for closure regarding this disorder is this: Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? I've come to realise that my ex has kept all her exes on FB even if no contact is initiated, so why am I the only guy to be given the never contact me again treatment? Currently 2 months NC. Thank you all Hey jammo, wondering where you been for the past couple weeks. Glad you're feeling better. I'm not sure about you're ex. But mine doesn't contact any of her ex's to my knowledge. She has some weird type of independence/stubbornness about her. I don't know about her prior partners, but after the things she has done to me, she is probably shameful and knows that she was wrong. She portrays herself as a Godly person, but if she contacted me, she knows that she would have to be accountable for her actions and she would have to admit the type of person that she REALLY is. It would be too painful for her. It's much easier for her to put me completely out of her life, out of sight out of mind. I guess she's repressing her issues rather than dealing with them. Hey Fred, hope your feeling better since last time we spoke, you say your ex doesn't talk or want anything to do with her exes, have you read up and researched NPD? If she has Narcissistic traits that would answer why she refuses and doesn't associate with exes, she may have this false ego, and by contacting you it would mean that her ego would be dented. Title: Re: My final question Post by: fred6 on November 09, 2014, 05:16:16 PM Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for a while, as I have been feeling a lot better recently, and I wish you all the same, it will come in time I promise! After hours of research I realised about a month a go that my ex was in fact HPD. My final question for closure regarding this disorder is this: Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? I've come to realise that my ex has kept all her exes on FB even if no contact is initiated, so why am I the only guy to be given the never contact me again treatment? Currently 2 months NC. Thank you all Hey jammo, wondering where you been for the past couple weeks. Glad you're feeling better. I'm not sure about you're ex. But mine doesn't contact any of her ex's to my knowledge. She has some weird type of independence/stubbornness about her. I don't know about her prior partners, but after the things she has done to me, she is probably shameful and knows that she was wrong. She portrays herself as a Godly person, but if she contacted me, she knows that she would have to be accountable for her actions and she would have to admit the type of person that she REALLY is. It would be too painful for her. It's much easier for her to put me completely out of her life, out of sight out of mind. I guess she's repressing her issues rather than dealing with them. Hey Fred, hope your feeling better since last time we spoke, you say your ex doesn't talk or want anything to do with her exes, have you read up and researched NPD? If she has Narcissistic traits that would answer why she refuses and doesn't associate with exes, she may have this false ego, and by contacting you it would mean that her ego would be dented. That's interesting jammo. Actually, my ex has very low self esteem and self confidence. But your description kind of fits. Her ego would definitely take a hit by contacting me. But can you have narcissistic traits and very low self esteem together? I've always thought that in some ways that she had N traits, but can't put my finger on why. But at this point none of it matters. I don't even care if she's BPD or not, but there is something definitely mentally wrong with her. I can't worry about a diagnosis that she's never going to get, I just have to look at her "toxic" actions towards me. I'll never hear from her again, but that's ok. It's gonna have to be. Title: Re: My final question Post by: DangIthurts on November 09, 2014, 05:22:57 PM Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for a while, as I have been feeling a lot better recently, and I wish you all the same, it will come in time I promise! After hours of research I realised about a month a go that my ex was in fact HPD. My final question for closure regarding this disorder is this: Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? I've come to realise that my ex has kept all her exes on FB even if no contact is initiated, so why am I the only guy to be given the never contact me again treatment? Currently 2 months NC. Thank you all Hey jammo, wondering where you been for the past couple weeks. Glad you're feeling better. I'm not sure about you're ex. But mine doesn't contact any of her ex's to my knowledge. She has some weird type of independence/stubbornness about her. I don't know about her prior partners, but after the things she has done to me, she is probably shameful and knows that she was wrong. She portrays herself as a Godly person, but if she contacted me, she knows that she would have to be accountable for her actions and she would have to admit the type of person that she REALLY is. It would be too painful for her. It's much easier for her to put me completely out of her life, out of sight out of mind. I guess she's repressing her issues rather than dealing with them. Hey Fred, hope your feeling better since last time we spoke, you say your ex doesn't talk or want anything to do with her exes, have you read up and researched NPD? If she has Narcissistic traits that would answer why she refuses and doesn't associate with exes, she may have this false ego, and by contacting you it would mean that her ego would be dented. That's interesting jammo. Actually, my ex has very low self esteem and self confidence. But your description kind of fits. Her ego would definitely take a hit by contacting me. But can you have narcissistic traits and very low self esteem together? I've always thought that in some ways that she had N traits, but can't put my finger on why. But at this point none of it matters. I don't even care if she's BPD or not, but there is something definitely mentally wrong with her. I can't worry about a diagnosis that she's never going to get, I just have to look at her "toxic" actions towards me. I'll never hear from her again, but that's ok. It's gonna have to be. I agree which is weird I feel like my need for spending and sometime look at me aspects are narcissistic but while her actions may kind of look like narcism the defining characteristics don't really fit with my girls VERY low self worth and all that... .Occasionally she'd have an ego if I made a comment [I'm a good person, other people can love me] but for the most part it was all self destructive, I'm stupid, I'm not going to college, really a poor self image. Title: Re: My final question Post by: fred6 on November 09, 2014, 05:32:28 PM Actually, now that I think about it. Even with the low self esteem and low self confidence, my ex always did have this attitude that she was better than everyone else and also talked $hit about everyone behind their backs. So maybe she did have some N traits. But like I said, it really doesn't matter. She ain't my problem anymore my-issues
Title: Re: My final question Post by: DangIthurts on November 09, 2014, 05:35:34 PM Actually, now that I think about it. Even with the low self esteem and low self confidence, my ex always did have this attitude that she was better than everyone else and also talked $hit about everyone behind their backs. So maybe she did have some N traits. But like I said, it really doesn't matter. She ain't my problem anymore my-issues Mine did too so I guess that they may be... .Still at least for me wouldn't explain the re-engage at after no contact with me although maybe it was a temporary moment. Title: Re: My final question Post by: jammo1989 on November 09, 2014, 05:37:53 PM Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for a while, as I have been feeling a lot better recently, and I wish you all the same, it will come in time I promise! After hours of research I realised about a month a go that my ex was in fact HPD. My final question for closure regarding this disorder is this: Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? I've come to realise that my ex has kept all her exes on FB even if no contact is initiated, so why am I the only guy to be given the never contact me again treatment? Currently 2 months NC. Thank you all Hey jammo, wondering where you been for the past couple weeks. Glad you're feeling better. I'm not sure about you're ex. But mine doesn't contact any of her ex's to my knowledge. She has some weird type of independence/stubbornness about her. I don't know about her prior partners, but after the things she has done to me, she is probably shameful and knows that she was wrong. She portrays herself as a Godly person, but if she contacted me, she knows that she would have to be accountable for her actions and she would have to admit the type of person that she REALLY is. It would be too painful for her. It's much easier for her to put me completely out of her life, out of sight out of mind. I guess she's repressing her issues rather than dealing with them. Hey Fred, hope your feeling better since last time we spoke, you say your ex doesn't talk or want anything to do with her exes, have you read up and researched NPD? If she has Narcissistic traits that would answer why she refuses and doesn't associate with exes, she may have this false ego, and by contacting you it would mean that her ego would be dented. That's interesting jammo. Actually, my ex has very low self esteem and self confidence. But your description kind of fits. Her ego would definitely take a hit by contacting me. But can you have narcissistic traits and very low self esteem together? I've always thought that in some ways that she had N traits, but can't put my finger on why. But at this point none of it matters. I don't even care if she's BPD or not, but there is something definitely mentally wrong with her. I can't worry about a diagnosis that she's never going to get, I just have to look at her "toxic" actions towards me. I'll never hear from her again, but that's ok. It's gonna have to be. I agree which is weird I feel like my need for spending and sometime look at me aspects are narcissistic but while her actions may kind of look like narcism the defining characteristics don't really fit with my girls VERY low self worth and all that... .Occasionally she'd have an ego if I made a comment [I'm a good person, other people can love me] but for the most part it was all self destructive, I'm stupid, I'm not going to college, really a poor self image. Hey guys, if your ex can let go of exes with a smile on their face and dispose of you and if this cycle is the same as her past relationships, I personally feel that they aren't BPD, after 100s of hours of research and reading numerous articles and journals I later concluded that my ex was in fact HPD. BPD can be co morbid but through intense research it would seem that HPDs share similar traits to narcissists, men suffer from this, while woman seem to only have certain traits in regards to their behaviour. Fred, I personally feel that, if your ex has blocked or cut ties with every single ex in her path she may in fact not be BPD at all but HPD with Narc traits. The self inflated ego of narcissistic people is their mask to hide their low self esteem, the reason why they don't contact exes is probably down to the ego that they must keep, so by reaching out to you it would show weakness, leaving a dented ego, and if you reach out she will see you as weak and not worthy of her contact, so it's impossible to win, Google HPD and NPD, because I really don't think your ex is BPD. Title: Re: My final question Post by: DangIthurts on November 09, 2014, 05:42:45 PM Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for a while, as I have been feeling a lot better recently, and I wish you all the same, it will come in time I promise! After hours of research I realised about a month a go that my ex was in fact HPD. My final question for closure regarding this disorder is this: Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? I've come to realise that my ex has kept all her exes on FB even if no contact is initiated, so why am I the only guy to be given the never contact me again treatment? Currently 2 months NC. Thank you all Hey jammo, wondering where you been for the past couple weeks. Glad you're feeling better. I'm not sure about you're ex. But mine doesn't contact any of her ex's to my knowledge. She has some weird type of independence/stubbornness about her. I don't know about her prior partners, but after the things she has done to me, she is probably shameful and knows that she was wrong. She portrays herself as a Godly person, but if she contacted me, she knows that she would have to be accountable for her actions and she would have to admit the type of person that she REALLY is. It would be too painful for her. It's much easier for her to put me completely out of her life, out of sight out of mind. I guess she's repressing her issues rather than dealing with them. Hey Fred, hope your feeling better since last time we spoke, you say your ex doesn't talk or want anything to do with her exes, have you read up and researched NPD? If she has Narcissistic traits that would answer why she refuses and doesn't associate with exes, she may have this false ego, and by contacting you it would mean that her ego would be dented. That's interesting jammo. Actually, my ex has very low self esteem and self confidence. But your description kind of fits. Her ego would definitely take a hit by contacting me. But can you have narcissistic traits and very low self esteem together? I've always thought that in some ways that she had N traits, but can't put my finger on why. But at this point none of it matters. I don't even care if she's BPD or not, but there is something definitely mentally wrong with her. I can't worry about a diagnosis that she's never going to get, I just have to look at her "toxic" actions towards me. I'll never hear from her again, but that's ok. It's gonna have to be. I agree which is weird I feel like my need for spending and sometime look at me aspects are narcissistic but while her actions may kind of look like narcism the defining characteristics don't really fit with my girls VERY low self worth and all that... .Occasionally she'd have an ego if I made a comment [I'm a good person, other people can love me] but for the most part it was all self destructive, I'm stupid, I'm not going to college, really a poor self image. Hey guys, if your ex can let go of exes with a smile on their face and dispose of you and if this cycle is the same as her past relationships, I personally feel that they aren't BPD, after 100s of hours of research and reading numerous articles and journals I later concluded that my ex was in fact HPD. BPD can be co morbid but through intense research it would seem that HPDs share similar traits to narcissists, men suffer from this, while woman seem to only have certain traits in regards to their behaviour. Fred, I personally feel that, if your ex has blocked or cut ties with every single ex in her path she may in fact not be BPD at all but HPD with Narc traits. The self inflated ego of narcissistic people is their mask to hide their low self esteem, the reason why they don't contact exes is probably down to the ego that they must keep, so by reaching out to you it would show weakness, leaving a dented ego, and if you reach out she will see you as weak and not worthy of her contact, so it's impossible to win, Google HPD and NPD, because I really don't think your ex is BPD. Mines definitely got the attention seeking and can be loud, but she does not have good social skills, and while she wants to leave her job all the time, she's been at her job for 10+ years lol and stick her in a room with like my family she is quiet as a mouse, but only with her family or social settings is she loud and obnoxious and carefree. Title: Re: My final question Post by: jammo1989 on November 09, 2014, 05:48:06 PM Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for a while, as I have been feeling a lot better recently, and I wish you all the same, it will come in time I promise! After hours of research I realised about a month a go that my ex was in fact HPD. My final question for closure regarding this disorder is this: Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? I've come to realise that my ex has kept all her exes on FB even if no contact is initiated, so why am I the only guy to be given the never contact me again treatment? Currently 2 months NC. Thank you all Hey jammo, wondering where you been for the past couple weeks. Glad you're feeling better. I'm not sure about you're ex. But mine doesn't contact any of her ex's to my knowledge. She has some weird type of independence/stubbornness about her. I don't know about her prior partners, but after the things she has done to me, she is probably shameful and knows that she was wrong. She portrays herself as a Godly person, but if she contacted me, she knows that she would have to be accountable for her actions and she would have to admit the type of person that she REALLY is. It would be too painful for her. It's much easier for her to put me completely out of her life, out of sight out of mind. I guess she's repressing her issues rather than dealing with them. Hey Fred, hope your feeling better since last time we spoke, you say your ex doesn't talk or want anything to do with her exes, have you read up and researched NPD? If she has Narcissistic traits that would answer why she refuses and doesn't associate with exes, she may have this false ego, and by contacting you it would mean that her ego would be dented. That's interesting jammo. Actually, my ex has very low self esteem and self confidence. But your description kind of fits. Her ego would definitely take a hit by contacting me. But can you have narcissistic traits and very low self esteem together? I've always thought that in some ways that she had N traits, but can't put my finger on why. But at this point none of it matters. I don't even care if she's BPD or not, but there is something definitely mentally wrong with her. I can't worry about a diagnosis that she's never going to get, I just have to look at her "toxic" actions towards me. I'll never hear from her again, but that's ok. It's gonna have to be. I agree which is weird I feel like my need for spending and sometime look at me aspects are narcissistic but while her actions may kind of look like narcism the defining characteristics don't really fit with my girls VERY low self worth and all that... .Occasionally she'd have an ego if I made a comment [I'm a good person, other people can love me] but for the most part it was all self destructive, I'm stupid, I'm not going to college, really a poor self image. Hey guys, if your ex can let go of exes with a smile on their face and dispose of you and if this cycle is the same as her past relationships, I personally feel that they aren't BPD, after 100s of hours of research and reading numerous articles and journals I later concluded that my ex was in fact HPD. BPD can be co morbid but through intense research it would seem that HPDs share similar traits to narcissists, men suffer from this, while woman seem to only have certain traits in regards to their behaviour. Fred, I personally feel that, if your ex has blocked or cut ties with every single ex in her path she may in fact not be BPD at all but HPD with Narc traits. The self inflated ego of narcissistic people is their mask to hide their low self esteem, the reason why they don't contact exes is probably down to the ego that they must keep, so by reaching out to you it would show weakness, leaving a dented ego, and if you reach out she will see you as weak and not worthy of her contact, so it's impossible to win, Google HPD and NPD, because I really don't think your ex is BPD. Mines definitely got the attention seeking and can be loud, but she does not have good social skills, and while she wants to leave her job all the time, she's been at her job for 10+ years lol and stick her in a room with like my family she is quiet as a mouse, but only with her family or social settings is she loud and obnoxious and carefree. Im gonna be pretty strict right now, dats are you still hurting or still confused by your exes behaviour, do you want to understand would it help with your closure? Title: Re: My final question Post by: DangIthurts on November 09, 2014, 05:51:36 PM Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for a while, as I have been feeling a lot better recently, and I wish you all the same, it will come in time I promise! After hours of research I realised about a month a go that my ex was in fact HPD. My final question for closure regarding this disorder is this: Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? I've come to realise that my ex has kept all her exes on FB even if no contact is initiated, so why am I the only guy to be given the never contact me again treatment? Currently 2 months NC. Thank you all Hey jammo, wondering where you been for the past couple weeks. Glad you're feeling better. I'm not sure about you're ex. But mine doesn't contact any of her ex's to my knowledge. She has some weird type of independence/stubbornness about her. I don't know about her prior partners, but after the things she has done to me, she is probably shameful and knows that she was wrong. She portrays herself as a Godly person, but if she contacted me, she knows that she would have to be accountable for her actions and she would have to admit the type of person that she REALLY is. It would be too painful for her. It's much easier for her to put me completely out of her life, out of sight out of mind. I guess she's repressing her issues rather than dealing with them. Hey Fred, hope your feeling better since last time we spoke, you say your ex doesn't talk or want anything to do with her exes, have you read up and researched NPD? If she has Narcissistic traits that would answer why she refuses and doesn't associate with exes, she may have this false ego, and by contacting you it would mean that her ego would be dented. That's interesting jammo. Actually, my ex has very low self esteem and self confidence. But your description kind of fits. Her ego would definitely take a hit by contacting me. But can you have narcissistic traits and very low self esteem together? I've always thought that in some ways that she had N traits, but can't put my finger on why. But at this point none of it matters. I don't even care if she's BPD or not, but there is something definitely mentally wrong with her. I can't worry about a diagnosis that she's never going to get, I just have to look at her "toxic" actions towards me. I'll never hear from her again, but that's ok. It's gonna have to be. I agree which is weird I feel like my need for spending and sometime look at me aspects are narcissistic but while her actions may kind of look like narcism the defining characteristics don't really fit with my girls VERY low self worth and all that... .Occasionally she'd have an ego if I made a comment [I'm a good person, other people can love me] but for the most part it was all self destructive, I'm stupid, I'm not going to college, really a poor self image. Hey guys, if your ex can let go of exes with a smile on their face and dispose of you and if this cycle is the same as her past relationships, I personally feel that they aren't BPD, after 100s of hours of research and reading numerous articles and journals I later concluded that my ex was in fact HPD. BPD can be co morbid but through intense research it would seem that HPDs share similar traits to narcissists, men suffer from this, while woman seem to only have certain traits in regards to their behaviour. Fred, I personally feel that, if your ex has blocked or cut ties with every single ex in her path she may in fact not be BPD at all but HPD with Narc traits. The self inflated ego of narcissistic people is their mask to hide their low self esteem, the reason why they don't contact exes is probably down to the ego that they must keep, so by reaching out to you it would show weakness, leaving a dented ego, and if you reach out she will see you as weak and not worthy of her contact, so it's impossible to win, Google HPD and NPD, because I really don't think your ex is BPD. Mines definitely got the attention seeking and can be loud, but she does not have good social skills, and while she wants to leave her job all the time, she's been at her job for 10+ years lol and stick her in a room with like my family she is quiet as a mouse, but only with her family or social settings is she loud and obnoxious and carefree. Im gonna be pretty strict right now, dats are you still hurting or still confused by your exes behaviour, do you want to understand would it help with your closure? Its that I'm typically a shut down and run person but with her I gave it my all, almost bought her dream house too but my gut said wait as that was right after a cycle lol... . I can honestly admit to you and anyone here if she called right this second. I'd cave. I'd act like I hadn't been talking to you guys, maybe I'd understand what I'm in a little better, but I'd go running back... .Its kicking my butt if she never comes calling, and I think once I'm a few more weeks out I'll be better able to deal. But right now and for the foreseeable future. I'd give in to the dark side, and its not because the new star wars movie is coming out lol. Title: Re: My final question Post by: jammo1989 on November 09, 2014, 06:00:01 PM Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for a while, as I have been feeling a lot better recently, and I wish you all the same, it will come in time I promise! After hours of research I realised about a month a go that my ex was in fact HPD. My final question for closure regarding this disorder is this: Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? I've come to realise that my ex has kept all her exes on FB even if no contact is initiated, so why am I the only guy to be given the never contact me again treatment? Currently 2 months NC. Thank you all Hey jammo, wondering where you been for the past couple weeks. Glad you're feeling better. I'm not sure about you're ex. But mine doesn't contact any of her ex's to my knowledge. She has some weird type of independence/stubbornness about her. I don't know about her prior partners, but after the things she has done to me, she is probably shameful and knows that she was wrong. She portrays herself as a Godly person, but if she contacted me, she knows that she would have to be accountable for her actions and she would have to admit the type of person that she REALLY is. It would be too painful for her. It's much easier for her to put me completely out of her life, out of sight out of mind. I guess she's repressing her issues rather than dealing with them. Hey Fred, hope your feeling better since last time we spoke, you say your ex doesn't talk or want anything to do with her exes, have you read up and researched NPD? If she has Narcissistic traits that would answer why she refuses and doesn't associate with exes, she may have this false ego, and by contacting you it would mean that her ego would be dented. That's interesting jammo. Actually, my ex has very low self esteem and self confidence. But your description kind of fits. Her ego would definitely take a hit by contacting me. But can you have narcissistic traits and very low self esteem together? I've always thought that in some ways that she had N traits, but can't put my finger on why. But at this point none of it matters. I don't even care if she's BPD or not, but there is something definitely mentally wrong with her. I can't worry about a diagnosis that she's never going to get, I just have to look at her "toxic" actions towards me. I'll never hear from her again, but that's ok. It's gonna have to be. I agree which is weird I feel like my need for spending and sometime look at me aspects are narcissistic but while her actions may kind of look like narcism the defining characteristics don't really fit with my girls VERY low self worth and all that... .Occasionally she'd have an ego if I made a comment [I'm a good person, other people can love me] but for the most part it was all self destructive, I'm stupid, I'm not going to college, really a poor self image. Hey guys, if your ex can let go of exes with a smile on their face and dispose of you and if this cycle is the same as her past relationships, I personally feel that they aren't BPD, after 100s of hours of research and reading numerous articles and journals I later concluded that my ex was in fact HPD. BPD can be co morbid but through intense research it would seem that HPDs share similar traits to narcissists, men suffer from this, while woman seem to only have certain traits in regards to their behaviour. Fred, I personally feel that, if your ex has blocked or cut ties with every single ex in her path she may in fact not be BPD at all but HPD with Narc traits. The self inflated ego of narcissistic people is their mask to hide their low self esteem, the reason why they don't contact exes is probably down to the ego that they must keep, so by reaching out to you it would show weakness, leaving a dented ego, and if you reach out she will see you as weak and not worthy of her contact, so it's impossible to win, Google HPD and NPD, because I really don't think your ex is BPD. Mines definitely got the attention seeking and can be loud, but she does not have good social skills, and while she wants to leave her job all the time, she's been at her job for 10+ years lol and stick her in a room with like my family she is quiet as a mouse, but only with her family or social settings is she loud and obnoxious and carefree. Im gonna be pretty strict right now, dats are you still hurting or still confused by your exes behaviour, do you want to understand would it help with your closure? Its that I'm typically a shut down and run person but with her I gave it my all, almost bought her dream house too but my gut said wait as that was right after a cycle lol... . I can honestly admit to you and anyone here if she called right this second. I'd cave. I'd act like I hadn't been talking to you guys, maybe I'd understand what I'm in a little better, but I'd go running back... .Its kicking my butt if she never comes calling, and I think once I'm a few more weeks out I'll be better able to deal. But right now and for the foreseeable future. I'd give in to the dark side, and its not because the new star wars movie is coming out lol. Right this is the thing I'm going to be strict about, I want you to watch/ listen to this video, I don't care if your not in the mood, or to busy, even if you watch 10 minutes at a time. After I watched this entire video I can honestly say that was my closure, and I've felt great for the past 3 weeks hense why I haven't posted on here. If your ex sounds like what's being described in this video, then you will finally know who she really is and you will feel so good after watching it all, just trust me ok? www.m.youtube.com/watch?v=XBEsYIRuzv4 Title: Re: My final question Post by: fred6 on November 09, 2014, 06:03:04 PM Hey guys, if your ex can let go of exes with a smile on their face and dispose of you and if this cycle is the same as her past relationships, I personally feel that they aren't BPD, after 100s of hours of research and reading numerous articles and journals I later concluded that my ex was in fact HPD. BPD can be co morbid but through intense research it would seem that HPDs share similar traits to narcissists, men suffer from this, while woman seem to only have certain traits in regards to their behaviour. Fred, I personally feel that, if your ex has blocked or cut ties with every single ex in her path she may in fact not be BPD at all but HPD with Narc traits. The self inflated ego of narcissistic people is their mask to hide their low self esteem, the reason why they don't contact exes is probably down to the ego that they must keep, so by reaching out to you it would show weakness, leaving a dented ego, and if you reach out she will see you as weak and not worthy of her contact, so it's impossible to win, Google HPD and NPD, because I really don't think your ex is BPD. I don't know jammo, I read up on all of those about a month ago. All three overlap to an extent. In my ex, I can see some traits of all three B/H/N pd. Hell, she could be comorbid with all 3 if that's possible. I have read somewhere that most BPD have some Narc traits too. Sometimes I get sick of all of this mental lingo and just say that my ex is messed up and sick in the head. That's really what it all boils down to, does it really matter what label I put on it? Title: Re: My final question Post by: jammo1989 on November 09, 2014, 06:13:12 PM Hey guys, if your ex can let go of exes with a smile on their face and dispose of you and if this cycle is the same as her past relationships, I personally feel that they aren't BPD, after 100s of hours of research and reading numerous articles and journals I later concluded that my ex was in fact HPD. BPD can be co morbid but through intense research it would seem that HPDs share similar traits to narcissists, men suffer from this, while woman seem to only have certain traits in regards to their behaviour. Fred, I personally feel that, if your ex has blocked or cut ties with every single ex in her path she may in fact not be BPD at all but HPD with Narc traits. The self inflated ego of narcissistic people is their mask to hide their low self esteem, the reason why they don't contact exes is probably down to the ego that they must keep, so by reaching out to you it would show weakness, leaving a dented ego, and if you reach out she will see you as weak and not worthy of her contact, so it's impossible to win, Google HPD and NPD, because I really don't think your ex is BPD. I don't know jammo, I read up on all of those about a month ago. All three overlap to an extent. In my ex, I can see some traits of all three B/H/N pd. Hell, she could be comorbid with all 3 if that's possible. I have read somewhere that most BPD have some Narc traits too. Sometimes I get sick of all of this mental lingo and just say that my ex is messed up and sick in the head. That's really what it all boils down to, does it really matter what label I put on it? It doesn't matter what you label her as, as it's easier to say she's mentally ill and just leave it, but for me personally by analysing and pin pointing every detail, not only does it make me feel better, but it also gives me the closure I never received. For example, by me knowing she was HPD I can look back on everything and be like wow it all makes sense now it's like your finally completing that jigsaw puzzle. I can also say she she said it acted this way because... .It really does help, Fred if you got time I would like you to watch this video to, because if in fact your ex was HPD/ BPD, everything you ever needed to know would be answered, this is the video that got me over my ex, it deffinitely sped up the process. www.m.youtube.com/watch?v=XBEsYIRuzv4 Title: Re: My final question Post by: fred6 on November 09, 2014, 06:20:34 PM It doesn't matter what you label her as, as it's easier to say she's mentally ill and just leave it, but for me personally by analysing and pin pointing every detail, not only does it make me feel better, but it also gives me the closure I never received. For example, by me knowing she was HPD I can look back on everything and be like wow it all makes sense now it's like your finally completing that jigsaw puzzle. I can also say she she said it acted this way because... .It really does help, Fred if you got time I would like you to watch this video to, because if in fact your ex was HPD/ BPD, everything you ever needed to know would be answered, this is the video that got me over my ex, it deffinitely sped up the process. www.m.youtube.com/watch?v=XBEsYIRuzv4 Well since so many of the traits overlap within the disorders and since my ex has so many overlapping traits, I don't think that I'll ever know exactly what's wrong with her. Thanks for the link, I'll definitely watch it when I get time. Title: Re: My final question Post by: Blimblam on November 09, 2014, 08:41:44 PM The cluster b PDs are like archetypical standards but the truth is people are individuals and can be comorbid in a variety of ways. This is the danger of when we post they are all the same. My ex is a quiet borderline waif with no comorbidities. It was confusing becUse she doesn't fit the "standard" borderline model. Cluster Bs in general share a lot of traits and patterns in behavior.
Title: Re: My final question Post by: Hurtbeyondrepair27 on November 09, 2014, 09:00:31 PM Hey guys, I haven't posted on here for a while, as I have been feeling a lot better recently, and I wish you all the same, it will come in time I promise! After hours of research I realised about a month a go that my ex was in fact HPD. My final question for closure regarding this disorder is this: Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? I've come to realise that my ex has kept all her exes on FB even if no contact is initiated, so why am I the only guy to be given the never contact me again treatment? Currently 2 months NC. Thank you all Hey jammo, wondering where you been for the past couple weeks. Glad you're feeling better. I'm not sure about you're ex. But mine doesn't contact any of her ex's to my knowledge. She has some weird type of independence/stubbornness about her. I don't know about her prior partners, but after the things she has done to me, she is probably shameful and knows that she was wrong. She portrays herself as a Godly person, but if she contacted me, she knows that she would have to be accountable for her actions and she would have to admit the type of person that she REALLY is. It would be too painful for her. It's much easier for her to put me completely out of her life, out of sight out of mind. I guess she's repressing her issues rather than dealing with them. Hey Fred, hope your feeling better since last time we spoke, you say your ex doesn't talk or want anything to do with her exes, have you read up and researched NPD? If she has Narcissistic traits that would answer why she refuses and doesn't associate with exes, she may have this false ego, and by contacting you it would mean that her ego would be dented. That's interesting jammo. Actually, my ex has very low self esteem and self confidence. But your description kind of fits. Her ego would definitely take a hit by contacting me. But can you have narcissistic traits and very low self esteem together? I've always thought that in some ways that she had N traits, but can't put my finger on why. But at this point none of it matters. I don't even care if she's BPD or not, but there is something definitely mentally wrong with her. I can't worry about a diagnosis that she's never going to get, I just have to look at her "toxic" actions towards me. I'll never hear from her again, but that's ok. It's gonna have to be. nice post fred Title: Re: My final question Post by: SpringInMyStep on November 09, 2014, 10:04:44 PM Why do BPD/ HPDs block and cut exes out of their life completely, and not others? Interestingly, my ex wanted to remain friends but I'm the one who doesn't want to see or hear from her. I want to wipe her clean from my life. So I wonder if every situation is different... . |