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Title: exBPDgf forgetting relationship we shared Post by: antonio1213 on November 11, 2014, 11:31:21 AM Toward the end of my relationship with my exBPDgf I was realizing that she was forgetting a lot of things that happened at the beginning of the relationship, and just things that happened in the relationship in general. I would bring up things that had happened and she would seemingly forget them or act like it meant nothing. This was all at the end of our relationship mainly. She blamed it on her smoking weed a lot or drinking but I don't think that has anything to do with it. I kind of feel like I am the only one who will remember the good from our relationship and remembers the deepness and fun we had (also the bad, its like she forgot about her temper tantrums). Has this happened to anyone else? Is this a 'lving in the moment thing' for them and thats why she can't remember it?
Title: Re: exBPDgf forgetting relationship we shared Post by: FlyingAway on November 11, 2014, 12:36:23 PM Antonio, This isn't quite the same, but I recently remembered how when we were driving someplace during the first recycle, she pointed out a few places we'd gone and shared happy occasions. She said they were good memories, and she'd have them as she moved forward in her life. No emotion attached, though. None at all. I was a little struck by that, and asked her about it. She replied, "I'm fine with just the memories.".
Now, when I drive past those places, my heart feels wrenched. I think they have selective memories. What they remember is something that might have felt good at the time. Sometimes even when what we shared were good times (and about which we non-BPD's have appropriate emotional recall as well), never got attached to a good feeling for them. Thus lost memories. I guess the same thing might happen with our bad memories. That, or outright lies about the memories (or lack thereof) on their parts. |