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Title: Do I confront BPD? Post by: Climbmountains91 on November 12, 2014, 07:21:59 AM My heads spinning. I don't know what to believe anymore, BPD i felt the other night spoke a lot of truth about how he feels but then i have his friend (whose also my best friend) telling me all sorts of unforgivable things his done and I'm getting to the point where i don't know who to believe. Who do i trust. I have found evidence like the Fetish websites his on, him on dating sites, witnessing BPD talk to other girls on nights out... .but not concrete evidence that he blackens my name behind my back because BPD tells me otherwise, BPD wants to make us work, friend tells me he doesn't and is only doing it because his scared to lose his daughter which sounds something like what BPD would say as his always had that fear though I've always told him he wouldn't. I moved 70 miles away from my family just so she could be near him. So does anyone have any advise on what to do? Do i confront BPD or would i just get faced with more lies? And then i'd ruin my friendship and there friendship and i don't want do that. But this just all seems so childish but its making me ill mentally.
Title: Re: Do I confront BPD? Post by: Recooperating on November 12, 2014, 08:39:21 AM Hi climbmountains,
Im sorry to hear about your situation and confusion. Sounds like you are stuck in the infamous Triangulation. Friend is persacutor, BPD is victim and you the rescuer... . If it was me, I'd try to step out of the triangle. Ask yourself what is good for you? Having a BF who's on datingsites while in a rs with you? Is that a boundary for you? Hear say is hear say, but keep to your own truths. Sit with the feeling of doubts and ask yourself what is your truth? Do you trust your bf? If you decide to work on the rs, what would you need to regain trust, will you ever be able to ever blindly trust him? Forget what BPD says, forget what friends says. What does your gut tell you? My exBPDbf was caught lying so many times, even with solid proof he'd deny and lie and lie. I chose my gut and eventually left... .But thats my path. Good luck with your choices, sending you a big Title: Re: Do I confront BPD? Post by: Climbmountains91 on November 12, 2014, 10:28:16 AM Hi climbmountains, Im sorry to hear about your situation and confusion. Sounds like you are stuck in the infamous Triangulation. Friend is persacutor, BPD is victim and you the rescuer... . If it was me, I'd try to step out of the triangle. Ask yourself what is good for you? Having a BF who's on datingsites while in a rs with you? Is that a boundary for you? Hear say is hear say, but keep to your own truths. Sit with the feeling of doubts and ask yourself what is your truth? Do you trust your bf? If you decide to work on the rs, what would you need to regain trust, will you ever be able to ever blindly trust him? Forget what BPD says, forget what friends says. What does your gut tell you? My exBPDbf was caught lying so many times, even with solid proof he'd deny and lie and lie. I chose my gut and eventually left... .But thats my path. Good luck with your choices, sending you a big Me and BPD aren't together, we split up in march this year, his friend came into my life in June and told me everything his been up to, when his friend came into my life me and BPD were on a 6 month trial separation. Its just up until recently that BPD is getting me back into a recycle and lately wants us to work so he says but his friends telling me he doesnt really and is just doing it because of losing his daughter argh! . He told me he did stuff when we were together and on separation. I shouldn't really be upset if he did stuff when we were separated as thats the whole point but i am as BPD could atleast be honest with me but thats what they do best, lie. Guess ill never know. |