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I sometimes wonder in the early stages of a replacement especially the first three months of falling for him ,Why is it that they rather ask us to help with their bills and how do they have the guts to ask while they are romantically involve with the replacement .

Why don't they ask him ?

Isn't he is the new supply or what are they hiding by not asking ?

Does anyone experienced that ?

In the first few months of my relationship my ex would pay for everything. I could have taken advantage but I'm not a user.  To a BPD attachment is attachment.  Durring a transition stage when you are being devalued you get the crappy user side of her personality which is take take take. And the replacement and or rescuer gets te give give give. A really crappy situation for the devalued person.

BIMBLAM

What do you mean by give , she is in desperate needs for money ?

Well I have no idea of your exs predicament. But in my relationship my ex was very giving in the initial stages and was like a vacume if my energy in the devaluing stages. While she would be giving to her "friends". Once I was replaced we still had contact and she would ask me to borrow money or whatever.  I told her to ask my replacement. I guess she did and the replacement jut made posts on fb to borrow money from people.  My replacement was a cluster b girl of some sort. A girl all into "manifestation" the money just magically appeared from her network of people she uses and slutted around with.

I actually let my ex borrow money in that stage and it was the most retarded thing I ever did and it ended up being twisted by her replacement and friends against me.

Nope. Paid for everything, except for a couple breakfasts and some coffee, maybe a drink or 2, but everything else we did, i paid for. She never asked for money, but she sure spent What the heck she had from child support and alimony on expensive ___.

BlimBlam makes a point your still an attachment. My ex asked to borrow money when she moved out. I did once because she didn't have financial means. I was the sole provider and her H. The bf was just that a bf.  I guess maybe she felt entitled because I was her H? I was upset with it because I told it's not my responsibility anymore. You're in a commited relationship with another man.

I set a boundary. Just say no. Your ex'll get the picture.

Thanks Mutt .

I am having a rough time tonight , I told her yesterday that I am mot in love with her and I don't love her anymore , and ask her not to contact me anymore , I feel sad  today about that but , I really don't trust she is ever coming back , I don't have the strength to deal with her any longer I am really tired and just want to go on it's hard I know , but I have to , I have no lost of confidence or anything in that sort it is just hard not to be in her life anymore .

I regret saying that I don't love her or did I do the right thing ?

Hang in there. This has been worse on me than my divorce. I think you did right by being honest with her. It's going to be painful but if it's what you need to do to move on, do so.

I was not honest DEENO I am still in love with her I lied .

It's cool. I still love(I think it's love) mine, but I would do the same. I could never take her back, never. You did the right thing

Thanks Dinno

No one can tell you what to do. It's your choice. So is their another guy in the picture or not? The thread title confuses me. I recall she said she just met a guy? She said they're getting married?