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So now he has a new obsession to buy and im the bad one for not giving him my money to get it. In the past few years he has had an old car. One motorcycle traded that for another and then traded that for another. 2 gf and now wants another motorcycle. Is this a normal Trend?

RR4U, you pose an interesting question. Yes, I think there is a link between BPD and OCD. Your BPD becomes distracted by things, thus making it easy not to relate to you and thus making it difficult for you to relate to him. In a manner of speaking, he is escaping from intimacy. He can relate better to these vehicles and escape into his own world of dealing with them and the freedom to go elsewhere, but not with you.

In my situation, my BPDw was physically and emotionally abused by her mother a long time ago. Now, she focuses intently on not only her part-time work, but especially on attending a university on a part-time basis. Thus, I have extremely limited with her other than her telling me what she has to do or to hear her complaints. Just recently, we had our 13th anniversary. We went out for the first time in 3 years for dinner. We haven't even gone out to a movie in at least 6 years. When I brought up the fact that her ex husband did the same thing that she is doing now and when she would complain to him about it, she told me that she now understood why he did what he did. Thus, she has justified not being intimate.

So, for you and for me, I don't know what the answer is for our mates. All I can say and suggest is that you take care of yourself. Also, you and I are grieving of a love that once was there, that has been put on the side by yours with vehicles and on the side by mine with being busy.