BPDFamily.com

My exBPDgf broke up with me close to 2 months ago and I went to a counselor one time. i heard from the counselor that my mother has BPD tendencies and that is probably why I was attracted to my ex. Than I thought back on how my mother jumped from man to man with little to no remorse for the man she left behind.

The one in particular is a man that she dated before her now husband. She dated her bf for two years. They were very close, went on trips together, families and children on both sides hangout, they were even going to buy land together and had a spot picked out. Talked about marriage and traveling the world.

One day while on a trip my mother met another man (he was tall, "had money", gave her lots of attention and was charming) and she soon left her then bf for him without a moments consideration for her then bf. (put "had money" in parentheses because he appeared to have money, though that wasn't true)

She seemed to have no remorse for breaking it off with her bf. Kind of pushed it all under the rug as in it almost didn't even happen. And whenever she did bring him up she normally just spoke badly of him. She didn't seem to care that they were buying a plot of land together, going to get married. She saw another set of supply and left her bf without a moments notice and has almost no remorse for what she did. She never even talks about it.

Poor guy was broken. He was living in the same neighborhood as my mother and had to move because of his broken heart and sudden devastation. Poor dude.

I guess I just brought this up to show just how much BPD's relationships are based off of need and in the moment things. Looking back on what happened is helping me understand what happened with my ex. And helps me understand how they can turn off and on feelings and run to whoever gives them what they need. It is just pure Selfishness. The hardest part is knowing they aren't experiencing ANYTHING close to what I am. my ex is moving on with her life and probably has a new set of supply while I am left here with a broken heart and in pain.

They go from what seems   to  leaving while feeling   while we feel  :'(  

My mother had several affairs while with my father.  My parents broke up for good when we were off their hands - my mother began an affair with a man where she worked.  This man was also married.  Anyway my mother did eventually marry this new man.  Even now, in her sixties - my sister has just informed me she is having an affair with an old and wealthy man who wants to marry her.  She is sleeping with this man but doesn't want to leave her husband because, she says, she simply doesn't fancy the man she is having an affair with.  My father is a classic NPD. He has several ladies on the go. Yes indeed I do have FOO issues.

Glad to know I am not the only one with fam issues. My mom is Bpd and my dad is a sociopath. Dad has never been faithful to any of the girlfriends he has had, nor any of his 4 wives he has had. My mother isn't in her sixties yet but don't know how long this marriage will last seeing as how they had a separation 8 months into the marriage. Best thing is to just learn lessons from the families.

For me it was the other way around.  My learning about BPD made me realised I had married my mother!  He was so much like her.  It's helped me understand her!  And the craziness called my childhood.  I'm estranged from my mother, have been since before I met my ex 4 1/2 yrs ago.  Took me a 4 yr r/s to see how much he was like her.  Controlling, manipulative, self-serving, arrogant... .and I'm just like my Dad, the enabler.  Had not seen that in 44 yrs until this BU!  No wonder I have such a hard time with r/ss and self-esteem!  Has given me a lot of compassion to myself for my past 'mistakes' and feeling so foolish for marrying this man!