BPDFamily.com

My relation will soon be homeless due to a spending spree that took no account of consequence. There are many other issues but this one is of immediate concern to me as a parent. She is only 21, no solid friends because she scares them away and so there will be no place to turn I am afraid.

I want her to have a secure, safe income because she can't seem to keep a job with her issues relationally. My immediate concern is that she not be homeless.

Hello Waldo  *welcome*,

Dealing with a family-member with BPD can be quite challenging. Has she been formally diagnosed with BPD?

Your immediate concern is her financial situation and the problems she has caused herself as a result of a spending spree. Would you say that controlling her spending is something she has struggled with before or was this the first time it went to this extreme?

Unfortunately many people with BPD struggle in their relationships and that can also cause them problems in their jobs. Does she have a job now? And what exactly is her living situation at the moment?

I have heard that some people with BPD can get disability. I know one person who has done that. It depends I guess on what the doc says.

My mother was on and off disability through her 50s and 60s due to her diagnosed depression, not BPD. Her therapist didn't officially dX her with BPD, but suggested it to her in a roundabout way. This may have been her last therapist. She went through about 7 of them before she found one that she felt comfortable with. In her old age, my mom accepts that she is BPD though. I don't think the two can be easily separated in her case.

Hi waldo,

Welcome 

My dBPDh gets full disability here in the UK. it is not so much about the diagnosis but how the disorder impairs his daily functioning and how his symptoms impede his ability to be in the world compared to somebody without mental health issues.

My h has always been linked to a community mental health team with regular contact with his P and social worker. They have provided supportive medical evidence anytime he has needed it. However this information can also be accessed through a family doctor.

Waldo I haven't checked your biog, so am not sure how things work where you live, are there any community organisations that could offer advice and signposting information that could help your daughter ?

Is your daughter diagnosed or is her disordered living something that a relevant professional is aware of ?

When my h was a lot younger he lived a very chaotic disordered lifestyle and spent long periods of time homeless. The situation with your daughter is understandably very worrying for you. I know you will be able to find some invaluable information and support from other members here.

How is your daughter doing?

Hello,

Thank you all for your thoughts.

Yes she is formally diagnosed... .They keep switching her from bipolar to BPD though which is very confusing and not confidence inducing in any way.

She has a home now, though again is not working and living off a trust left by grandfather that will run out in the next couple months.

This month she came home to tell us she is pregnant.   alarming and also possibly good... .She has been very good so far. Closing the doors on people that have been risky for her up to now, and making good choices in regards to her health. It is very new yet though so this could change at any given time if she won't take direction.

She will apply for welfare, I thinkshe may have last night actually, which is the first step one must take to get started on disability in our province of canada. Hoping and praying!

Oh yes, and in response to the question about her spending spree... .Yes this is one of many! I am moderating her trust fund right now but it is quickly whittled away with rent and groceries.

It was intended for school but she started and then quit a month later and survival seemed the next necessity.

Hi Waldo,


Welcome back!

It appears that your d is being very conscious of her decision making to protect her unborn child,  that is excellent news!

Is she accepting your words of care and concern right now?

lbj

I am in Canada and my dd32 has been on Disability for about two years now. While she was in AB, she often went to the er and was referred to mental health a number of times. She was diagnosed there with a collection of different ailments but regardless of having been diagnosed BPD in BC, at age 17, they failed to provide her with any supports.

When she arrived back here over a year ago, she was drug addicted and had lost everything, including her three children.

She was referred to mental health by a clinic doctor and from that point on, things moved very swiftly. At the health clinic she saw a P who reaffirmed her dx of BPD. She applied for and got Disability and also had regular visits with a Psychologist who helped her decide to go on the methadone program for her drug addiction.  Her methadone Dr. even offered to be her family physician. ( It took me 8 years to get one of those!) 

The icing on the cake for me though, was when they appointed her a Community Social Worker. This 'Angel' keeps in touch with her throughout the week and has helped her access so many other resources within the community, such as housing, food banks, free clothing etc. DD has just begun a six week life skills course. She has to be at the program every morning at 8:30, four days a week- and she's doing it!

I have little regard for the mental health system in AB, but I am impressed and so grateful for the help she is receiving here in BC.