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It is starting to drive me insane. been 1.5 months post b/u and NC and I dream about her almost every single night. I will go to bed fine... .dream about her and wake up with a hole in my chest. I feel like my brain is trying to fine closure for what happened, sort it out or something. When will the constant dreaming stop? Havnt had a good nights sleep in so long

It lasted at least two months for me and continued intermittently for another two months after that. It felt like I was going nuts too! It's gone now, she sometimes appears in dreams but is always a bit part player now, usually I reject her for someone else in the dream and she goes nuts but as it's a dream I just throw her away lol. I don't think she has popped up in a dream for a few weeks. I did hear a so g last night that reminded me of her and I cried for the first time in months, didn't last long though.

You will get there eventually. The whole thing is like an illness that comes over you. When I broke up with her after just three weeks I was in so much pain I had to go back! That's gone now and I felt so bad at one point that I never thought it would get better.

Hang in there, aim to go a further three months NC and I bet you are feeling much better by then.

Yup I hear ya. I wake up with a tear soaked pillow every morning. I have taken to going to the gym late at night and lifting weights until I am exhausted. That helped me sleep a bit. I also have to be up super early so simple sleep depravation is helping to. To tired to dream.

It is our brains trying to make sense of the insensible I guess.

Hugs

I didn't dream about mine much thank god, but I woke up between 3:36-3:38am every single night for weeks and weeks post-break up.  It was driving me crazy especially considering the near exact time nightly.  It has finally subsided and now I'm sleeping until at least 5:00, but she still is the first thing that pops in my head when I wake up.  I'm looking forward to the day that ends.

How long are you post b/u and NC?

This stuff scares me how long it lasts. I don't want to have sleep problems for years and years because of this. I want to stop thinking of her right when I wake up

Hey antonio, I think you can do something proactive about it when you are awake.  Just tell your mind to "cancel" or "delete" the thought about her and replace it with something you find soothing or positive.  You might even want to say "cancel" right out loud, to make sure that both sides of your brain (your left/right brain) get the picture.  You might want to get the positive image or thought ready in advance.  Give it a try!  LuckyJim

We actually haven't officially been together for a year, but we have recycled on and off since then.  I've been totally NC now for about 3 weeks.   For me each contact has been a major trigger and it's like starting over again with a flood of emotions.  She sure knows how to push my buttons, and I was dumb enough to let her.  I will remain NC after finally owning my part in this disaster and will continue healing.  I still think about her every day, but I don't have withdrawal symptoms nearly as bad like I did even a few weeks ago.  

My ex has never been a part of my dreams.  I always found it odd, but my mind just never allowed her to be a part of my subconscious even during our time together.  Instead, I seemed to develop a different subconscious coping method in response to the bad times during my relationship.  Without any conscious thought about it, my mind would dream about someone else.  An old friend who I lost as a result of my r/s with my ex.  For whatever reason, these dreams (never about anything in particular) always lifted the weight of the previous night's fight from me.  Quite honestly, those dreams are probably responsible for me maintaining my sanity throughout it all.

Klonopin. It helps.

I had the sleepless nights only because of the trauma of finding my wife had organised a thug who was on his way over to bash me as she convinced herself that I was going to leave her again - I was, but only because she caused it with her flip-outs and dysregulated behaviour. The old story... .they fear abandonment but cause the abandonment themselves.

The best I could get from a mental health assessment was that I was suffering "hypertension" yet she was diagnosed with "Post Traumatic Stress  Disorder" because of the fear I would "continue to abuse her" from afar.

I would wake in the middle of the night with a shortness of breath, feeling I was going to choke to death. Even in winter I slept with the window open to ensure there was enough air but I still awoke - every night. I was prescribed Ventollin and this helped.

I went to weekly therapy sessions but the breakthrough came when I hesitantly went on an overseas holiday, met a girl and laughed non-stop for a whole month. I never thought about my ex again and I've been sleeping like a baby each night for almost a year now.

Have you tried therapy or a nice distracting holiday? How do you keep yourself busy?

I had exactly the same thing. But it has cleared.


This just recently happened to me as well. We planning a trip to Australia, and things between us seem to be going very well. She has such a stable personality, probably because she is a professional person. It is such a relief visiting family and friends knowing your girlfriend isn't going to get upset over something stupid, and then ignore everyone for the rest of the visit.

I still think of the ex at times, but mostly just regrets that I put up with that abuse for 3 years. But at least now I understand why I did it.