BPDFamily.com

Some days I feel as though our lives are more hectic and crazy than any movie or reality show on tv.

Today is Day 2 and no news from anyone on how my Granddaughter (GD) is doing today.  My daughter is upset with me, we got into a huge argument that lasted the entire drive home (after admitting GD).   She's had little to no contact with her daughter (my GD) over the past year (new boyfriend that my GD does not like) and didn't like that I was asking questions during the admittance, asked or a walk thru of the facility etc and says I undermine her as a mother.  She is now upset and not returning my calls.   Since I have had to rely on her to provide consent to her therapist, doctors, school officials in the past  year(to deal with me) I am a little worried.

Is it horrible to feel a little bit of relief knowing she is in a safe place with staff watching her as close as we were?   I remember the second time that our GD was in a Psych facility and my hubby and I showed up to visit - only to realize we had the time wrong and had to wait for an hour.   During this time there was a mother, with 2 daughters (1 in obvious distress) who were waiting to be admitted.  The mother recognized a man in the waiting room as a worker from another facility that had treated her daughter and started up a conversation with him.  I remember her saying that the only time she ever got any rest was when her daughter was admitted into a facility.   I remembered feeling so sad for her daughter that her mother felt this way and here I am over 1 year later and I completely understand how that mother felt.

Hello, AZGranny &  *welcome*

And no, it isn't horrible at all that you are finally at peace for a little while, now that your Granddaughter is in an RTC. In fact, many of us parents and other loved ones of children (even adult children) in treatment programs heave great sighs of relief once they are admitted. Myself included; my son has been hospitalized twice for Suicidal Ideations, and stayed for several days each time in the Psych Unit of our local Hospital. He also spent 28 days in one Rehab for drug addiction; another 38 days two years later in another Rehab for drug addiction; and then in March-April 2013 he spent 21 days in an Intensive In-Patient Dual Diagnosis Program. Each time the collective sigh of relief in my household during his stays was palpable; the only times we could sleep a full night in so long.

In our case, we were very fortunate that the Dual Diagnosis Program finally diagnosed my son with BPD, treated him with intensive DBT, and then he's been continuing Therapies afterwards. Almost 20 months later he is clean and sober, in remission for his BPD, and the happiest and healthiest he has been since he was a kid (he's 37 now). Now we can sleep every night, knowing he is healthy and safe, but I remember those terrible times when I slept with one ear waiting for the phone to ring with another devastating tragedy that needed to be dealt with when he wasn't home or safe. The stays at the Hospital and Rehabs were blessed time-outs for all of us... .

I truly hope your Granddaughter does well at the RTC, and that your Daughter comes around and cooperates with you for the family's benefit. How old is your GD? And your Daughter? Do they both have BPD? I'm really sorry for the troubles and trauma you have had to deal with, and are still dealing with... .We all understand, AZGranny 

This is interesting for me to read…first of all,, many   to you AZGranny -- I am also an AZ Granny!  My ex DIL is a uBPD and I am praying for the best for my 3 1/2 y/o grandson! I've had NC with the exDIL since before my son's divorce.  But…that is another story.

I'm wondering about RTC here in AZ for dual dx for another matter as my husband's sec'y just brought her son 16 y/o son, who appears to be struggling with some of these very issues, back to a  wilderness type program in the Tucson area for the second time. Obviously, it didn't accomplish what it set out to do the first time. She (the secretary) told my husband he probably wouldn't understand her decision but I would -- well, I don't; not that it matters what I think in all honesty but I would like to see this young man get better and I don't believe this program is one that will help him achieve such a goal.  I feel my hands - and mouth - are tied. 

How would you approach such a situation, having been down a similar path? It's hard hearing outsiders give their opinions, though, isn't it?

All the best to you and your GD,

Behindme