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Woke up this morning with a sick feeling in my gut. i hate the way it ended... hate the way he had to paint me a psycho.horrible person in order to move on from me... hate it he doesnt see who i actually am and how much i loved him

it will pass... but hate this sick feeling.

I know he is not who i thought he was so must focus on that.

Halo There

It is tough, but it gets better. You need to believe that and not soothe yourself in the short term by recycling etc. It is important that you know there are people who got to the other end and are just fine. You need to get better yourself. Excercise, healthy eating and friends/family are your prescriptions now... .

We are here for you. Good luck - You'll get there. Promise.

Thanks for the reply. i have lost weight and have been working out since him. currently i am the smallest i have been in a couple of years so im def taking care of myself. Im mostly missing the facade he carries around. Not who he actually is. he is a very vengeful cruel person at times bordering on heartless. he has publicly slandered me lied about me to family to get them to hate me... lied to me betrayed me... .the list goes on.

it bothers me i allowed someone like him to lower my self esteem. His care was only fleeting for me. it switched at a dime... yet mine was persistent.

a little bitterness and resentment about it.

Its what they do to shift blame off them. Ive learned over the past 2 months since she dumped me that she enjoys being the victim... The struggling stay at home mom with 5 kids whose husband abandoned her. And her boyfriend who just didnt understand and couldnt devote the time to put into the relationship yada yada yada. Theres nothing I can do on how she painted me to her friends, not even going to bother. As I have said before, shes the one that has to explain why Im with her one week and theres a new guy there the following week. Im not saying a damn word. The important people in my life saw and know what happened. Thats all that matters... .