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As it gets further away from my life, there are parts I will remember, very little good, a lot of bad life lessons and intolerable cruelty as the r/s broke apart. I was full in. She wasnt. I will remember the "your unlovable" "your emotionless" "your incapable of love" and when I said please let me prove you wrong on this, let me fight for you she said "what did I ever say or write that made you think I want you to". Followed up with "I finally know what I want". There really are people like that in the world and it was my misfortune to fall in love with her and her kids. Now its all gone and while Im improving, its maddening being alone and without love. Holidays are here and Ive got to pretend that Im cool, when Im not. Ive been through much worse than this, but this has taken a toll on my soul. Im not sure I can ever be as giving and caring again. Im not sure I want to be. On the good side, it is slowly drifting away and there is some light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't know how you can go through something like that to where it doesn't change you, permanently.  I know I've gotten hardened and I've also noticed I'm still short tempered.  I think it's going to take time to soften and let your guard down, and if it still means putting the next person to the test a bit more than so be it.

The things she said to you were beyond cruel and so reminiscent of what was said to me.  Once in a while one will stick in my brain and I'll sit there and won't believe I actually swallowed that at the time because if you knew me there is no way I would put up with that crap, but with her I did for god knows what reason.

The holidays do suck being alone so I feel for you, at least you won't have major dysfunction and someone who wants all the attention focused on them.  This year it's all about you.

I hear ya Deeno!

I really couldn't ever imagine someone I loved so much doing this to me as well as her daughter.

It should be a crime and certainly comes close to being one of the most inhumane things ever in the world.

It's so funny she accused me of cheating all the time and it's her who was the one actually cheating!

Same here. I would call what she was doing more of whoring herself out to whoever than cheating.

If she had an affair and just fallen in love with somebody else it would still hurt but that's understandable.

She is obsessed with being in a relationship but is terrible at them because she lies and cheats. She would be better of being single and just doing what she does that way but she needs to have always have a boyfriend to help her out with her million kids and with bills.

Mine didnt cheat, so i didnt have to worry about that. She was just so damn abusive. And the chaos! Good lord! And the xanax, fibromyalgia and those meds and the add, and 5 kids jeez... .what the heck was i thinking

It's a blessing you didn't knock her up Deeno, you'd be trapped for life!

I really don't mind any of it anymore. I'll be fine she's the one who will be a mess the rest of her life and as long as we don't get in to a custody battle she has no reason to ever be mad at me or rage on me anymore.

She's raging on the new guy, her family and everyone else around her now. I feel like I got a pass, I'm enjoying life.

fortunately we are 51(me) 46 (her) so no way thank god!