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Title: Tired of being that guy. Post by: Chasing_Ghosts on November 20, 2014, 04:25:12 PM Im tired of being the one who she comes to when she "needs" something.
Tired of being her emotional tampon. Tired of being the funny/light ex who entertains her and makes her feel like a good person because we still talk. Tired of not knowing where we stand. Tired of being the only one invested in our relationship Tired of getting blown off and then her texting later acting like i never asked her to hang out. Tired of the pain she causes me in these cycles. Im done. This is making me sick. I deserve better than this. I just hope i can stick to this resolve when she texts me next. I hate caving when she texts me over and over (sometimes 5-6 times) and i respond. Makes me feel so weak. :/ Title: Re: Tired of being that guy. Post by: Turkish on November 20, 2014, 04:31:58 PM Other than the frustration, what are you getting out of this continued engagement with her?
Title: Re: Tired of being that guy. Post by: Chasing_Ghosts on November 20, 2014, 04:40:25 PM Other than the frustration, what are you getting out of this continued engagement with her? False hope and the occasional ego stroke for being so "understanding" because "it means a whole lot to her that i understand no matter what." At first i took this line as being a breakthrough possibly in her emotionally opening up to me. Now the more im thinking on it she might as well be saying " thanks for being a good doormat that i can dump all my problems on without any commitment." And despite knowing all this i still keep making up these excuses for her in my head. I believe alot of it is me projecting unto the words shes saying instead of looking at her actions. I just dont know how to keep myself from doing this... because deep down in my heart i want to make this work. Title: Re: Tired of being that guy. Post by: krinaker on November 20, 2014, 04:53:12 PM Man... .I suggest you block her number so you don't have to recive her texts or calls. It is the only way.
But don't do it trying to manipulate her into changing her ways or missing you... .you must make a commitment to yourself to walk away for good. I got also tired of being that guy... .and recently chose to go NC for good. I know you can do it too Be strong Title: Re: Tired of being that guy. Post by: Blimblam on November 20, 2014, 05:08:41 PM Other than the frustration, what are you getting out of this continued engagement with her? False hope and the occasional ego stroke for being so "understanding" because "it means a whole lot to her that i understand no matter what." At first i took this line as being a breakthrough possibly in her emotionally opening up to me. Now the more im thinking on it she might as well be saying " thanks for being a good doormat that i can dump all my problems on without any commitment." And despite knowing all this i still keep making up these excuses for her in my head. I believe alot of it is me projecting unto the words shes saying instead of looking at her actions. I just dont know how to keep myself from doing this... because deep down in my heart i want to make this work. I remember going through a similiar situation with my first ex. Essentially I was her main attachment but I had become a trigger for her so she would bounce between me and whoever she met when she was getting drunk with her girlfriends. These other guys were typically game players who weren't looking love. While it was true I loved and cared about her more than those other people in her life. I was not in a reciprocal love relationship at that point I was giving my energy then she took my energy and gave it to others. This sucked me dry. At one point to some of her girl friends I had to fight off two guys at once to protect them which led to somehow me being painted permanently black. At one point I drew like an energy flow chart and decided that's not who i wanted to be. Title: Re: Tired of being that guy. Post by: Chasing_Ghosts on November 20, 2014, 06:16:35 PM Other than the frustration, what are you getting out of this continued engagement with her? False hope and the occasional ego stroke for being so "understanding" because "it means a whole lot to her that i understand no matter what." At first i took this line as being a breakthrough possibly in her emotionally opening up to me. Now the more im thinking on it she might as well be saying " thanks for being a good doormat that i can dump all my problems on without any commitment." And despite knowing all this i still keep making up these excuses for her in my head. I believe alot of it is me projecting unto the words shes saying instead of looking at her actions. I just dont know how to keep myself from doing this... because deep down in my heart i want to make this work. I remember going through a similiar situation with my first ex. Essentially I was her main attachment but I had become a trigger for her so she would bounce between me and whoever she met when she was getting drunk with her girlfriends. These other guys were typically game players who weren't looking love. While it was true I loved and cared about her more than those other people in her life. I was not in a reciprocal love relationship at that point I was giving my energy then she took my energy and gave it to others. This sucked me dry. At one point to some of her girl friends I had to fight off two guys at once to protect them which led to somehow me being painted permanently black. At one point I drew like an energy flow chart and decided that's not who i wanted to be. Sounds exactly like what im going through minus having to fight any guys yet. I know she gets drunk everynight with her gfs/ "friends. Making horrible decisions and having sex with all manner of men. While im on the sidelines emotionally providing everything shes not getting from these one night stands. So once im the "trigger" Blim do you think its forever stuck this way? Title: Re: Tired of being that guy. Post by: Blimblam on November 20, 2014, 07:08:35 PM Other than the frustration, what are you getting out of this continued engagement with her? False hope and the occasional ego stroke for being so "understanding" because "it means a whole lot to her that i understand no matter what." At first i took this line as being a breakthrough possibly in her emotionally opening up to me. Now the more im thinking on it she might as well be saying " thanks for being a good doormat that i can dump all my problems on without any commitment." And despite knowing all this i still keep making up these excuses for her in my head. I believe alot of it is me projecting unto the words shes saying instead of looking at her actions. I just dont know how to keep myself from doing this... because deep down in my heart i want to make this work. I remember going through a similiar situation with my first ex. Essentially I was her main attachment but I had become a trigger for her so she would bounce between me and whoever she met when she was getting drunk with her girlfriends. These other guys were typically game players who weren't looking love. While it was true I loved and cared about her more than those other people in her life. I was not in a reciprocal love relationship at that point I was giving my energy then she took my energy and gave it to others. This sucked me dry. At one point to some of her girl friends I had to fight off two guys at once to protect them which led to somehow me being painted permanently black. At one point I drew like an energy flow chart and decided that's not who i wanted to be. Sounds exactly like what im going through minus having to fight any guys yet. I know she gets drunk everynight with her gfs/ "friends. Making horrible decisions and having sex with all manner of men. While im on the sidelines emotionally providing everything shes not getting from these one night stands. So once im the "trigger" Blim do you think its forever stuck this way? Not necessarily. But focussing on not being a trigger for her is a sort of self fulfilling prophecy of remaining a trigger. There is a quote someone has in their signiture "what you resist persists" |