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I was a bit shocked yesterday. I got a text from my ex saying to drop our son off between 5:30 -6 today. This is after she said to drop him off at 4 when we spoke on wednesday. I said I thought I was supposed to drop him at 4 as she had said. She then asked if I wanted her to change her plans and I said it was ok even though I had othrr stuff that I need to do. I then got a text appologising and that she must have confused herself.

This is a first for me. In the past even if I showed her that she had said a time or date she would either still deny it or start an argument.

It's just games man. There was some agenda behind it. These people are like peeling a onion,  there's always another layer you can't see. I've given up trying to figure it out. But I don't have a child with my ex nut, thank the good Lord

I realise that she has an agenda. She is away for the weekend with my replacement so coming back early would mess up her plans but previously her default setting was to attack and blame me and if that didnt work go for the guilt trip.

this to me feels more like a change in her attitude towards me. I would say painted white but maybe ive become less significant so not as triggering.

It has me curious as I would like to put together a roaf map of their behaviour and key changes. I think it could be a useful tool for me and othrrs here.

Truth be known in my experience mental masturbation will do you only harm. Give it some time and you'll find out if there's anything to it.

Hi peiper

Things are a little different with me. I have two uBPD exs and three sons with them. My curiosity in their behaviour has nothing to do with missing them or wanting them back. It is part curiosity as i love a puzzle but mosyly so i can protect myself and my children... Plus there is also that it may benefit others.

My ex wife was a waif and theres a lot of things that have helped me  to deal with her that have been reinforced and tweeked due to looking into what she does.

My exgf is a queen type and although their underlying BPD is very similar they have different ways of doing things.

By knowing where I stand at a particular moment helps me to navigate dealing with them.

It seems you are painted white again.  Maybe someone else is now painted black. 

I wouldnt sat white yet though I could be wrong. It feels more indifferent.

Maybe she has started painting my replacement black as they have been together a few months.

I think that whatever the change that she's showing you, it will probably be very short lived.

Who knows. Maybe she was in a good mood.