BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone.I will try to make this short.

I used this forum and therapy to recover from a BPD I was involved for 7 years.It was the worst time of my life.I went to therapy and learned a lot.

I ended up moving on and I stayed single for 3 years.I was doing very well and built a home a business and life was good.Then I became lonely and vulnerable.I wanted to try dating.

Low and behold A woman came up to me and introduced herself and we talked a lot.Over the course of 3 months she became everything I ever wanted in a woman.It was almost to good to be true.She was the most amazing woman I ever had.

As time rolled on I moved her into my home.(mistake).I truly believed all she said to me.I listened to all her words and ended up opening my whole world to her.

I came home 2 weeks ago and she was gone.This last 2 weeks has been hell and I am sinking and trying to make sence of it all.She is diagnoised as BPD.I myself am back in therapy and trying to detach.

She calls me and I have to run from the phone.Last Friday was the straw the broke me.She came over and laid all the words on the line and stupid me gave her 300.00.She promised to be right back and once again vanished.

I have turned my cell off and I went into hiding.This morning I turned my phone on and I had many many messeges(text) from her saying she cares and where am I.

I started therapy and began Zoloft again.I am dazed and confused to what REAL IS... .I am hanging on for dear life here in NY.I can't let this ruin all I worked for.But this is killing me again... .

I feel played,conned,betrayed,angry and manipulated.Her words DO NOT match her actions and behaviors... .

The worst part was her mixed messeges.That is haunting me... .

Thanks For Listening to me... I have therapy tomorrow at 4 pm...

Mike, Im sorry to learn if your present situation and can feel your anxiety.

In personal inventory, we come to realize much about how and why we ended up in a BPD r/s and likely can see a pattern on other PD r/s in our past.

Im very hesitant to date again after all I understand of myself although I would very much like to share the good w another mature adult.  Its unfortunate you healed and now are back in muddy waters. The rapid nature of your r/s was an unfortunate red flag missed and in no way do I judge.  I try vigilantly to be aware of those red flags and can see how much effort it takes. And we certainly want to hope for a genuine r/s moving foreward.

Perhaps this time may be a bit different as you detach.  In what you've learned and in having a t.  Regardless, right now your pain in real and it seems responding to your ex us getting you deeper in that pain.

Are you able to not respond? Do you have a plan moving forward?

Wow, sorry you have to go through this again. I can only imagine how painful this is. I don't know that I can add much since you have been through this before. You are doing the right thing going NC and doing therapy. You know you can get through this and you realize it is going to take time. There are good potential partners out there we just have to learn how to be more aware. If you haven't read Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody I would strongly recommend it. She also has another book called Facing Love Addiction. They are both excellent and helped me understand myself much better and things I need to do to better myself. Good luck. As you know it will eventually get better.

@Caredverymuc... .Thanks.

I am going to keep trying the NC and heal myself from this.I am in hiding now and turning phone off.I received a lot of texts from her last night but my phone was off.

I am a wreck over all the mixed signals,mixed messeges,lies,cons and being led on a roller coaster ride from hell... .Nothing added up.

When I questioned her on this all hell broke loose... .I can't talk to her because I am to BLAME FOR ALL.She will not own any personal responsibility for any of her relationships as of now... That was one of the ''red flags'' I missed.In the beginning everyone in her life was painted black and she does no wrong.I am the new one added to the list.

I am going to hide out for now and see my therapist tomorrow and come up with a game plan...