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Title: Detachment and Communication. Post by: Chasing_Ghosts on November 24, 2014, 04:42:35 PM Im starting to realize its not possible to really "detach" anymore with communication. Ill be fine for a while but then shell get me emotionally involved in her life at some point throughout our conversations and its like im back to square one. So ive been NC with her for a week now. Its really helping but at the same time i start to doubt myself. Is there a way with boundaries i could still be able to communicate. I want to be there for her emotionally but its just so hard to not have the feelings all rush back. Would boundaries help or am i fighting a losing battle?
Title: Re: Detachment and Communication. Post by: Skip on November 24, 2014, 06:05:15 PM Im starting to realize its not possible to really "detach" anymore with communication. Ill be fine for a while but then shell get me emotionally involved in her life at some point throughout our conversations and its like im back to square one. So ive been NC with her for a week now. Its really helping but at the same time i start to doubt myself. Is there a way with boundaries i could still be able to communicate. I want to be there for her emotionally but its just so hard to not have the feelings all rush back. Would boundaries help or am i fighting a losing battle? The problem is that you want to be there for her emotionally - in a way, that is the opposite of detachment. Setting limits would be something like telling her you want to stay away from emotional topics. Title: Re: Detachment and Communication. Post by: guy4caligirl on November 24, 2014, 06:16:11 PM Im starting to realize its not possible to really "detach" anymore with communication. Ill be fine for a while but then shell get me emotionally involved in her life at some point throughout our conversations and its like im back to square one. So ive been NC with her for a week now. Its really helping but at the same time i start to doubt myself. Is there a way with boundaries i could still be able to communicate. I want to be there for her emotionally but its just so hard to not have the feelings all rush back. Would boundaries help or am i fighting a losing battle? The problem is that you want to be there for her emotionally - in a way, that is the opposite of detachment. Setting limits would be something like telling her you want to stay away from emotional topics. Chasing ghost , I kept communicating with my ex she refuses to talk about personal stuff , she can because she is carrying on with her life and she dates someone , I can't I even tried to give her job back with me from a distance but that too did not work because all she wants from me is business I want more but can't so I got frustrated and gave up I am on my fifth day NC it's hard but I started looking for someone else and believe me it's a lot of work but it's worth it at the end ,Good luck to you . Title: Re: Detachment and Communication. Post by: fromheeltoheal on November 24, 2014, 09:09:15 PM Excerpt I want to be there for her emotionally but its just so hard to not have the feelings all rush back. It's best to get really clear on your motives for wanting to be there for her emotionally and detach; that's probably an inner conflict you have, and is best processed without any input from her, and then when you're totally clear on what you want and need you can act accordingly. |