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Title: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: Forestaken on November 25, 2014, 10:20:34 AM I've been on these boards longer than I can remember. I finally found the courage to divorce my abusive uBPD+dOCD+Xw.
In therapy, My T told me I suffer from low self-esteem. When I didn't reward myself for passing 2 professional certifications and achieving my full pension requirements. He lectured me that I need to value myself. That I deserve a trip. I looked at Rome, Tibet, France, and each time I waffled, always planning but never typing in my credit card number for the final purchase. Until today! I just booked a flight from the East Coast to Honolulu in Feb 2015. I'll travel alone but I realize this has got to be about me. Thought about Hawaii, Silly as it sounds between watching Jack Lord in Hawaii 5-0 and Gilligan's island, I've always wanted to go. So Aloha and PS I'm bring resumes too. (Y Not?) Title: Re: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: parisian on November 25, 2014, 10:28:36 AM Travel by yourself is an amazing growth experience! It is really rewarding because:
- it forces you to solve things by yourself, as sometimes travel doesn't always go smooth - it teaches you patience and tolerance, although coming from a background with a BPD ex I'm sure you've probably got bucketloads of that anyway - you don't have to compromise on what things you want to do or see - travelling alone opens up other opportunities that don't happen when you're in a couple - people will engage with you more easily because you're on your own, so you can have some interesting conversations with interesting people - overall, it does tend to improve confidence I find - you get greater comfort in your own skin and abilities not to mention you get to see some really cool places! Good luck with the trip - sounds awesome! Title: Re: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: heartandwhole on November 25, 2014, 01:36:37 PM Hi Forestaken,
Good for you! What a wonderful gift to give yourself, I'm glad you took that step and booked it. I did something similar many years ago, having dreamt of going to the islands, but never thinking I would... .well, I never used the return ticket Good idea to bring your CV! heartandwhole Title: Re: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: Forestaken on November 26, 2014, 06:56:55 AM Thank you. I was physically trembling when booking my flight later the hotel.
I had to remind myself that "It's a vacation" not a black hole of death... .like I climbed out of. Title: Re: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: Pingo on November 26, 2014, 08:21:56 AM I had to remind myself that "It's a vacation" not a black hole of death... .like I climbed out of. This made me laugh, I can relate! Sometimes we let our anxiety take over and everything seems so scary! This trip sounds so amazing! And Hawaii! What a beautiful place to rest & rejuvenate! Congratulations on taking that big step and doing something purely for yourself, I am envious! Have a great time! You have inspired me :) Title: Re: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: honeybadger on November 26, 2014, 08:25:32 AM Congratulations!
I actually love traveling by myself to exotic places. Have a wonderful time and celebrate your strength. Title: Re: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: MaybeSo on November 26, 2014, 11:31:03 PM |iiii
Title: Re: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: Ziggiddy on November 27, 2014, 11:57:53 PM How marvellous for you Forestaken! I once heard that even huge decisions are made in a transient state of mind. it just takes that moment of courage. i am not only pleased that you took the step but also pleased that you posted it here. You really deserve congratulations.
Building up your self esteem is a long slow steady process and you made a great leap. I like what you did too, to address your consternation I had to remind myself that "It's a vacation" not a black hole of death... .like I climbed out of. Appropriate minimisation - the best cure for catastrophic thoughts. I really hope you hold on to that moment. So precious <applauds> Ziggiddy Title: Re: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: Forestaken on December 01, 2014, 08:03:48 AM Thank you everyone! Your support is immeasurable in my heart.
I did some internet surfing this weekend. I learned for $49 I can join a group tour and snorkel with sea turtles My X hated water activities We never did them together. I would take my kids to water parks, hotel pools, recreation center pools without her. Now, I do what I want to do. Not what she demands - It's liberating! Title: Re: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: Grey Kitty on December 02, 2014, 07:11:48 AM |iiii
It is a huge shift to do things for yourself after so many years. For me it feels incredibly worthwhile... .and very young and fragile at the same time. Title: Re: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: eyvindr on December 21, 2014, 09:47:26 PM That's terrific, Forestaken! -- have fun! You deserve it!
And yes -- Now, I do what I want to do. Not what she demands - It's liberating! Yes, you do. Keep it up! Title: Re: My first step outside my comfort zone Post by: Deeno02 on December 22, 2014, 06:31:25 AM I lived there. Miss it daily... :)
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