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Title: Interesting Analogy - Divorced BPD Similar to a T3 Terminator Unit Post by: cobaltblue on November 25, 2014, 04:35:02 PM I was reading a few articles and watching a few videos and came across a video where a guy had some really solid observations about what a BPD is like during and post-separatation and he compared the BPD to the Terminator movies:
- No empathy, no compassion, no ability to feel emotions - Hyperfocused on hurting or destroying a target - Leverages available resources around it - Will not stop I found the analogy to be disturbingly accurate but interesting. Not sure how we disable them from their destructive mission though... . Title: Re: Interesting Analogy - Divorced BPD Similar to a T3 Terminator Unit Post by: ForeverDad on November 25, 2014, 08:15:42 PM - No empathy, no compassion, no ability to feel emotions
Let Go of any expectation of reasonableness, reciprocity and cooperation - Hyperfocused on hurting or destroying a target Give Primary Focus to gaining and retaining the important things: your children, your parenting and your personal future - Leverages available resources around it Don't Gift Away any leverage you might have - Will not stop Firm, strategic Boundaries; skirmishes and battles may be lost but win the war Title: Re: Interesting Analogy - Divorced BPD Similar to a T3 Terminator Unit Post by: livednlearned on November 26, 2014, 10:58:40 AM Detach detach detach.
I know, easier said than done. Detaching doesn't necessarily prevent the destruction because custody battles + family court make sure the trauma continues. But the more you can emotionally detach from her actions, and focus on solving problems, it lets you emotionally move on with your life. Slowly. Everyone has a burden, and I guess BPD ex spouses is our burden. I also found that BPD is remarkably predictable and I started to use that to my advantage. The BPD rule book has very few rules and not many plays, it's not nearly as confusing when you get a hold of the intel. One thing I learned is to be consistently emotionally neutral in any meetings or hearings where we were together. Unfortunately for me, N/BPDx started to target everyone involved in my case and stayed negatively engaged a lot longer than many BPD exes seem to do. Hopefully your ex is not pathologically narcissistic. I think court hearings and constant drama can be a strong narcissistic supply. Title: Re: Interesting Analogy - Divorced BPD Similar to a T3 Terminator Unit Post by: ogopogodude on December 05, 2014, 03:49:30 AM I love the above blurb
... "I also found that BPD is remarkably predictable and I started to use that to my advantage. The BPD rule book has very few rules and not many plays, it's not nearly as confusing when you get a hold of the intel"... I also have found that this is true as well. I, too, have been using this to my advantage (specifically by the concept of "detachment" and to set boundaries & abide by them). It took me a while but the pattern of BPD behaviour is certainly there. I used to think that BPD behaviour was totally erratic and unpredictable ... .but actually the opposite is true, once one figures out the BPD rule book like stated above. Perhaps the real word relating to the behaviour of BPD is predictably "chaotic". Title: Re: Interesting Analogy - Divorced BPD Similar to a T3 Terminator Unit Post by: ForeverDad on December 05, 2014, 05:43:08 AM I've often used the phrases 'consistently inconsistent' and 'predictably unpredictable'.
While it is mental illness to a varying extent from person to person and is illogical and even downright confounding when using everyday common sense, it can be categories, described and listed in textbooks, future overreactions and other behaviors can be anticipated and therefore we can have develop strategies to avoid, disable and counter many of such behaviors. |