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Title: My husband has bipolar and BPD Post by: Fairyvale on November 28, 2014, 04:33:01 PM Hi BPD family
I have been married for 22 and a half years to a man with BPD. I really don't know how I've lasted this long. It's been harrowing at times. Sometimes I think I am a coward for not leaving years ago. For the first 15 years I didn't have a name for his condition but I knew there was something very abnormal going on. He is cyclothymic and BPD. It's been a roller coaster ride of note. I am a deeply religious person and I believe that when you marry you marry for life. My siblings have little understanding of this condition and have always encouraged me to stay with him. He manages to put on a good show in front of them most of the time. We have 3 wonderful sons. In some ways I stay because I want them to have a father. He is a good provider. I suppose he is what you would call a functional BPD. He appears fine in front of others but at home he can be very different. He can also be extremely kind and caring. Even just typing this makes me feel a traitor. We had dinner in a restaurant this evening. He is very stressed because he has left his job and is starting another. Spending the evening with him has been exhausting. He is emotionally draining. I anaesthetised myself with a couple of hours of Facebook and an online game after dinner. In fact I am really tired and would have much preferred to go to bed. I just had to escape from him for a while. I hope to connect with people who understand this disorder and can give good advice. Most people I talk to have no understanding of this at all. When I try to open up to friends I end up feeling as though I am the one with the problem for being disloyal. I would like to speak to other people who know what it's really like to live in this half dream half nightmare world. |