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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Lilflower on November 28, 2014, 04:53:32 PM



Title: Was I wrong?
Post by: Lilflower on November 28, 2014, 04:53:32 PM
I am having a lot of guilt over something I said to my exBPD bf and I would like to know how harsh my words may or may not have been.

My ex came over after work one night when he was extremely tired. (A 40 minute drive). Prior to coming over, he asked if we could just meet for dinner but I said I really didn't want to do that. With that, he said he would come over and I was extremely happy.  When I got home he was already at my house and he looked annoyed.  I made dinner and while I was cleaning up he fell asleep sitting up on my couch. I let him sleep for an hour or so and then I woke him up. I said, "Babe you should just go home". I'll be honest... I was pissed. I guess it seemed like he was trying to prove his point but if he was that tired he shouldn't have volunteered to come over. Anyway, when he was getting ready to leave (this is the part I feel guilty about) I handed him his keys and said, "you might as well have just stayed home". He pecked me on the cheek and left. After that things slowly went down hill. I think he was very hurt or angry about that but he never brought it up. The next night he hung up on me for an unrelated reason and didn't talk to me for 3 days. Up until then our relationship was pure heaven on earth. Now that I think about it, when we did talk he kind of danced around that night but brought up other minor things and how much stress he was under.

To be honest, in my previous relationships a comment like that would have just been a part of a normal disagreement. I know it didn't warrant a breakup but if someone said that to a non would't that just be an argument? I would really like to know how bad that was or wasn't.

I am not embellishing or down playing the details at all... .this is what happened.  Some of you have experienced some pretty bad things so it may seem laughable but I am feeling like I was a real b-tch for that. ... not enough to break nc, just enough to torture myself.