BPDFamily.com

My exUBPDgf sent this email this morning, I have no desire to go back at this point but now that we are no longer together this disorder is interesting to me,  at least enough so it may not enter my life again. Having done everything for her and winding up financially ruined I can't let that happen to me again,    Her email-

I am sorry we didn't make it. I know you have been raised to hate women and surround yourself with people that hate women but I loved you with all my heart and people that know me ... .know that. I am sorry you fell prey to evil and gossip. I hope someday you will rid yourself of he demons that control your mind and see how the brainwashing of your enablers has affected your entire life and well being. Including the well being of your children. I used you be your angel and now I am the enemy. Think about that sometime. I am still the same person you met. Thriving. Right side up with my children. Where are you and your children? How are your souls? How are you helping your children get to Heaven and become successful adults? What are you teaching your children by your behaviors? Don't worry about what I am doing. I have done well and the fruits of my labor are showing in my children. I may have dated too much and all the wrong type but I never quit and always pushed forward. That is why you loved me in a way. Or was it just lust like you were taught. We had something special as friends. I am sorry we can't even have that now. I see that women are just objects to you and I need more than that. I need loyalty and devotion... .not jealousy and hatred. I was right about you. I usually am. Just wanted you to know for me it was real. When you rid yourself of evil you will see that... .

Whoa... .speechless...

She sounds like a raving lunatic, yes this is down to the disorder, but just take a step back and read what's she's saying.  How are your souls? I would delete the email straight away, she sounds like how a leader of a cult would talk in the hope of manipulatition!

Notice how they can so quickly go from I Love You to I Loved You.  My ex did that within a week after informing me I was replaced.  Thanks for posting the letter. Reminds me so much how lucky we are to be out of it all.

You you you you you you.  I read that as your fault your fault your fault your fault.  The only time she mentions herself is in a positive light.  She was your "angel" - she's doing well with her children - she reminds you of why you loved her.  Then to top it all off, she claims to be right about you.  Yikes.  

Don't dwell on it - to me these sorts of e-mails just reinforce everything that's wrong with them.  

Wow, how much of this is projection?  My ex has accused me of ridiculous behaviours that are so far from the truth since we split.  All projection and to take the heat of his own behaviour.

Replace you with I and read it again.

Definitely proof that your better off without her. Be thankful.

Good lord. Looks like what I might be expecting in five months.

She doesn´t need a therapist,she needs an exorcist.  Unbelievable.

Period.

Just bizzare behavior to me,  If she's trying to prove a point and have me come back she failed!   If she's trying to convince me that it is all my fault,  she failed!   If she is just trying to make herself feel better?   I think she's failing that too.

Its purely to try and convince herself that all the problems werent of her making. Theres so much projection in there. She obviously is feeling guilt as she has gone to the trouble of writing this. Probably in the vain hope that you would respond and validate her feelings.

I just did that with a similar e-mail from my ex.  I forgot my therapist mentioned this technique when dealing with her.  It makes a lot more sense from that angle than from how it reads as she sent it.

If you also replace where they refer to themselves with you it shows how they think your doing.

This is nonsense. I can totally relate. I got a mail after 3 months along similar lines... .she loves me, why can't we be friends, she misses me... .it then became bs justifying her behaviour because she felt "unsafe and cornered because she was like my therapist". Ffs I've never read such delusional stuff in my life.

Trash and ignore this and  stay away. That's what I did and she left me alone to live my life.

There's a lot of projection, emotional blackmail and distortion with her altruism with the children. I'm sorry she gave you financial difficulties Caresaboutdomeonelikethis. I'm rebuilding my credit and everything else for that matter. We're in the same camp. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

That email is hyper loaded with projection. See it as a release valve to rid your ex's immense shame.  Very impulsive.

Here, sadly, is an example of what many of us have said on this board.  Our ex's seemed to hit us very hard with devaluations that were soul shocking and hard to get up from.  That is, of course until we understand it has nothing to do with us.  At all. Just turn that mirror around.

Sorry for you with this demonstration of such. I would delete. Not respond. Move forward.

Then block.

I think a normal person could see this as reaching out but only if the person reaching out had a sense of normalcy.  I think that's a huge factor,  I may not be perfect but I know I am not all that bs she is slinging.  I also think she is too far gone in PD land to even make a recovery to tolerable with all the help in the world,   Kind of sad.   She was a angel to me at one point but it was only while she hid behind her mask.

I can eventually replace money and material things but even if I were a billionaire I would not have the resources to help someone that does not think they have a problem.