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Title: He has popped up a year later, (trying to get revenge?) Post by: Popcorn71 on December 01, 2014, 12:56:36 PM Well, well, it looks like those warnings about them turning up eventually, are right.
I am in the middle of selling my home to move on to a new phase of my life. So far in the 12 months since the divorce, my life has improved dramatically and I am so much happier. In contrast, my xBPDh doesn't seem to be doing very well and doesn't look very happy. Anyway, today it appears it all got too much for him and he had to have a go at getting his own back on me (for letting him go without a fuss so he could live his new life with the replacment). He phoned the estate agent and told her something (all lies) that could potentially stop me selling. Fortunately the agent immediately suspected he was lying and phoned me to let me know. It looks like his pathetic attempt to upset my plans has failed. My first thought was to call him and give him a piece of my mind. But then when I calmed down I realised that he was probably waiting for this. So I am not going to acknowledge this at all and have asked my family not to say anything to anyone about it, so that he has no way of even knowing that I know what he has done. In my view, he is obviously not happy or he would have been thinking of the replacement today, not me and how to upset me. He is getting the punishment he deserves just by living his life. Am I doing the right thing by ignoring him? Do you agree that it was probably an attempt at getting me to respond to him? Title: Re: He has popped up a year later, (trying to get revenge?) Post by: Xidion on December 01, 2014, 01:03:44 PM Well, well, it looks like those warnings about them turning up eventually, are right. I am in the middle of selling my home to move on to a new phase of my life. So far in the 12 months since the divorce, my life has improved dramatically and I am so much happier. In contrast, my xBPDh doesn't seem to be doing very well and doesn't look very happy. Anyway, today it appears it all got too much for him and he had to have a go at getting his own back on me (for letting him go without a fuss so he could live his new life with the replacment). He phoned the estate agent and told her something (all lies) that could potentially stop me selling. Fortunately the agent immediately suspected he was lying and phoned me to let me know. It looks like his pathetic attempt to upset my plans has failed. My first thought was to call him and give him a piece of my mind. But then when I calmed down I realised that he was probably waiting for this. So I am not going to acknowledge this at all and have asked my family not to say anything to anyone about it, so that he has no way of even knowing that I know what he has done. In my view, he is obviously not happy or he would have been thinking of the replacement today, not me and how to upset me. He is getting the punishment he deserves just by living his life. Am I doing the right thing by ignoring him? Do you agree that it was probably an attempt at getting me to respond to him? Absolutely, do not give him attention of any kind, even if it's negative. That's what he wants. They thrive off of destruction and drama. It would please him to know that it upset you. Swallow it, move on, and act as if nothing happened. When you make the sale on your home and he sees that his plan was foiled, that will be revenge enough. Title: Re: He has popped up a year later, (trying to get revenge?) Post by: LuckyEscapee on December 01, 2014, 01:15:47 PM A feeble attempt to re-engage you in contact. He's worried the door is closing. Keep strong!
Title: Re: He has popped up a year later, (trying to get revenge?) Post by: Popcorn71 on December 03, 2014, 12:08:34 PM Thanks for the replies. This could potentially cost me a lot of money or even cause me to lose the sale. Hopefully it won't come to this but there is a risk.
I cannot see what he is getting from this. Isn't it obvious that it will just make me dislike him even more than I do now. Why would he want that kind of attention? Where I live has nothing to do with him and would not affect him, so why try to keep me in the same place that we lived? He has moved on so why would he want to stop me from doing the same? I find this awfully confusing as I just don't understand what he thinks he has to gain. Title: Re: He has popped up a year later, (trying to get revenge?) Post by: Mutt on December 03, 2014, 10:57:12 PM I think he got wind and it's likely it triggered feelings and he's distorting to your agent. BPD is an emotional based disorder and he has defense mechanisms for negative feelings right? He's devaluating you as a person to compensate for his insecurities and feelings. It sounds like you have a good agent that picked up the I agree with you when you ignored the emotional immaturity. The winning move is not to play. Focus on your new life and the sale.
I'm sorry to hear you may take a loss or lose the sale. That's a big disappointment. That said I'm happy to hear you're happy after 12 months of divorce. Best of luck on the sale of your home. Title: Re: He has popped up a year later, (trying to get revenge?) Post by: DangIthurts on December 03, 2014, 11:29:50 PM I think he got wind and it's likely it triggered feelings and he's distorting to your agent. BPD is an emotional based disorder and he has defense mechanisms for negative feelings right? He's devaluating you as a person to compensate for his insecurities and feelings. It sounds like you have a good agent that picked up the I agree with you when you ignored the emotional immaturity. The winning move is not to play. Focus on your new life and the sale. I'm sorry to hear you may take a loss or lose the sale. That's a big disappointment. That said I'm happy to hear you're happy after 12 months of divorce. Best of luck on the sale of your home. Exactly. Same as mine, if she's so happy with her new BF/life, why care someone posts something totally irrelevant in regards to her about me on their private social media and turn into bashing me in front of thousands of people. Bottom line Emotions. Title: Re: He has popped up a year later, (trying to get revenge?) Post by: letmeout on December 04, 2014, 12:33:18 AM I found the best thing to do when theses ex's do a 'pop up' is ignore ignore ignore.
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