BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: guy4caligirl on December 02, 2014, 06:38:47 AM



Title: Please help me with these texts from my ex last night i am confused
Post by: guy4caligirl on December 02, 2014, 06:38:47 AM
We both had been in LC for few moths now after the B/U almost 5 months ago ,she has been steady that she is not going back ,but the mix feelings that I get from her needs some decoding ?

Only once for two weeks ago she changed her number then gave it to me again .

She threatened  to change it again and her email address but never did .she was up to a renewal of bill and kept the same number after saying this is it I am changing it . but no she didn't .

We all know she is never happy  , I try to make sense to her that going on like the way she does it's not healthy and she needs treatments, yes I know it's bad to talk about her illness , but we both have discussed her issues It's very clear she knows well what she is facing as she was diagnosed 15 years before we met , and followed  a short treatment and gave up with her ex husband she wanted me during our R/S to read about it with her but we never did .

Two days ago I get a text out of the blue had some important questions for her but she replied ":)on't forget to fed our dog " and dismiss the questions I ask for her own benefit .Weird !

After several texts from me she pops up a text in capital letters out of the silence :"News flash :I am happy and have been happy "

"It's obvious that you need me to need you " Crazy !"

I have my doubts that she is miserable and put up an act while she's not ,she has no way to get even her toiletries ," I don't need your help " Leave me alone "

I know very well that I need to go N/C but I still have the urge to have one final adult conversation with her

But it doesn't look like it .

This is where I am your replies will be much appreciated and again remember every situation is unique in some ways , and I know what she's all about ,that's why am still trying to be the the protector not the enabler.

Please what should I do ?


Title: Re: Please help me with these texts from my ex last night i am confused
Post by: Earthbayne on December 02, 2014, 06:45:23 AM
Pressed for time, but I have to say, in these cases, protector = enabler.

You want one final adult conversation for your own closure, but you already know it's not going to happen. She won't let it happen and even if you do say your piece, it won't matter, she won't give you the closure you seek from her.