BPDFamily.com

Hey

I just wanted to reach out and say that I'm really struggling and if I'm totally honest I feel utterly lost and that I don't want to be alive anymore. I am sick of my job - i don't get to interact with people too much. I'm totally sick of where I live - I feel isolated and don't know anyone there and its a long way from work.

I miss my ex so much, in terms of the things we did together and the fun we had, even though it was generally me who dragged this fun out of her or got her to lighten up.

It's been 17 days since the break up and NC. I've not heard a thing from her, and I guess I never will. She wanted to be friends but I didn't. I wouldn't treat anyone in the way she treated me.

I don't know if I'm beating myself up for feeling so low and suicidal at times and as if I should be getting over it by now and starting to rebuild? I feel utterly bereft and that my life is empty and meaningless and she is probably just getting on with her lif and planning stuff to do and doesn't even think about me.

I know I sound pathetic after only a 4 month relationship.

I was just wndering how long this stage of feeling so utterly low lasts for?

I'd appreciate any help, advice or support.

Thanks

Take it easy on yourself brother. There was a reason you didn't want to be friends. What helped me was getting a piece of paper draw a line down the middle on one side put all the good things about her, and be honest. On the other side all the bad. I was where you are this will pass. Hang in there.

Thanks peiper

How long did you feel this low for? Any tips on how you got yourself out of it?

Keep breathing and the world will turn. Get out more and give her an eviction out of your head. And don't blame yourself or play the if I only woulda done this or that game. It would have happened no matter what.

Oh and it lasted several months. Remember this is the first day of the rest of your life, make it a happy one.