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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: lost_in_translation on December 05, 2014, 10:15:12 AM



Title: She responded by taking every article of clothing she has here and moved out
Post by: lost_in_translation on December 05, 2014, 10:15:12 AM
My live-in gf ordered some clothes online the other day, so I asked her if the box she left in the closet was empty because it is recycling day and I wanted to throw it out before work.  She responded by taking every article of clothing she has here and moved out!     Aghhh!


Title: Re: She responded by taking every article of clothing she has here and moved out
Post by: Skip on December 05, 2014, 12:41:28 PM
This is the best understanding of what is going on?   :)

So, what is really happening in your relationship?  Where did she go?  What's been troubling her?


Title: Re: She responded by taking every article of clothing she has here and moved out
Post by: lost_in_translation on December 05, 2014, 01:49:42 PM
Thanks for the reply, Skip.  She goes to her parents home every time she takes her clothes and leaves.  This happens on average once every 1-2 months.  It's usually triggered by me asking her to pitch in and clean up after herself, but sometimes she just seems depressed and leaves without a trigger. 

I just don't believe that the rational mature response to your s/o asking you to put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket instead of throwing them all over the floor is to take all your clothes to your parents house.  In a sense it's so immature to me that I almost find it comical.  So, I just wanted to vent about it and see if anybody else's s/o responds immaturely to requests for things around the house.


I honestly don't know what's been troubling her this time around.  And, when I sense something is off and I ask her what is bothering her she just distances herself further from me.  It's very confusing and it makes it hard to feel secure in your relationship. 


Title: Re: She responded by taking every article of clothing she has here and moved out
Post by: Grey Kitty on December 07, 2014, 09:12:39 AM
What you describe could be interpreted two different ways:

1. You complain about her laundry on the floor, and she reacts by picking it all up and taking it home to her parents to do laundry.

 Sounds kinda messed up, but maybe her mom does her laundry?

2. You complain about her laundry on the floor and she reacts by getting all her stuff and moving out, effectively ending her r/s with you for at least a while over this.

   What the heck? If that is the whole story, that is more than a little messed up!


Title: Re: She responded by taking every article of clothing she has here and moved out
Post by: formflier on December 07, 2014, 03:56:35 PM
  So, I just wanted to vent about it and see if anybody else's s/o responds immaturely to requests for things around the house.

Venting is good... .we all need a place to let off some steam.  BPD family is a good place to do that.

However... .the real value in this place is to learn from others so that your r/s improves.

What would it mean to you if she stopped moving out... .that she cleaned up... .  ?

I think that is possible... .we'll need to know some more about your r/s (relationship) first.

We're ready to listen... .!   :) :)