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I still think of her many  times a day I get busy doing something,  then i think of her , i go to bed i think of her ,

I get up i think of her ... .

I am doing the best i can .

I need some encouragement Please ?

Do any  of you feels that way even after 5 months of B/U ?

This cannot be happening to me , i thought when both wanted the break up , i can get over it quick but no !

It's not happening five years it's a long time !

Your going to miss her until you make a conscious decision not to miss her bud. There were reasons for the BU think back.

Im sorry Guy for your pain. I understand as we here struggle with this together. I still miss my ex 1 year NC later and think of him every day too.

These r/s are extremely difficult to "just get over" as so much is intense then acutely withdrawn with so many questions left and a huge amount of feelings still on the heart.

Five years is indeed a long time.  Five months is not.

What's happening in your situation now? Are you NC, LC, in contact? Please know we understand 

I'm in the same boat, I think about her every day mostly all day long, I think about the good things and the things that I liked about her, I still get upset, I think it is too easy to remember the good things and block out the bad things, I think the continued contact even though it is negative and argumentative keeps us stuck in the relationship remembering the good things and the good things are what we are wanting and that is what we will argue for and fight to get back,   But really all we are doing is just fighting and arguing, that did not fix the relationship when we were together and it's not going to now, advice that was given to me by a T even though he knows this relationship is destructive and I should not not be in it and has helped me to this point of separating from her says even though this would be a very difficult relationship to fix if it will ever have a chance sometime in the future you will have to let it go and work on yourself, if it's meant to be it will be, but I am only 50% of the equation. The other half is totally up to her and her job to Fix her own things on her end.  I don't know exactly what your contact is with your ex but mine was blaming, accusations, hatefulness, none of which fixes a relationship so I ended it The only way I could--NC.    

What My T was leading to was if the relationship ever does have a chance remove all negativity any way that you can and clearer heads will prevail,  I Took that as very open ended because i'm still trying to figure things out in a sensible rational way and she is the one with a unclear head. Clearer heads will prevail?  My guess is he was trying to tell me to clear my head and I will be okay and if she clears hers there is a maybe.  But mine will be clear and I can prevail!  Even if I want to take on 100% I can only take on 100% other half of the equation.

It takes time and effort. Make two lists, one of the good things about her and one the bad. Be honest with yourself when doing them, it gave me better perspective.  And give yourself some time, we were in a very dysfunctional dance.

Caredverymuch has a good point. Five months is not a terribly long time. You suffered a loss. Everyone heals differently at different paces. I have to agree with peiper. When I started missing my ex and thinking of the "good" times I started thinking about the the "bad times" and I stopped thinking about her. In my case the bad times far outweighed the good times. The juice wasn't worth the squeeze.

--Mutt

One day it will just kick in,  common sense and rational thinking will return and you'll be glad she's gone and you don't have to put up with her anymore. Belive me it will happen.

Refer to my post on this thread which i think has similar meaning - https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=238191.0