BPDFamily.com

So this is the third Xmas running that I have had to deal with major trauma in the form of suicide in my life.

November 2012 my then girlfriend took an overdose and nearly died, I helped her recover, spent three days in the ICU helping her deal with hallucinations and agitation. Then after she recovered we tried to rekindle the relationship, it was at this point that I realised that we both had BPD tendancies, I think her more than me as I have been in therapy for 25 years. Anyway when she finally dumped me I fell apart and had a breakdown that took me almost a year to recover from.

Then November 2013 my elderly mother who I now realised was very BPD, she parentisized me when I was a child, attempted suicide many times when I was little, finally gave up, took to her bed and starved herself to death. 30 hours I sat by her bedside and watched her die. My NPD father seemed not to care much as much of the trauma caused by domestic abuse in my family was at his hand.

November 2014 my 26 year old son who has been suffering from PTSD for 10 years, possibly BPD went completely paranoid and jumped from the 5th floor of his apartment block. I tried to stop him, begged him, fought with him, then held him as long as I could before I finally had to let him fall from my grasp, 100 feet on to concrete. He's lucky to be alive and will hopefully possibly recover well from the horrendous injuries he has sustained.

I am not sure I will ever fully recover from the horrors I have experienced over the last 2 years. I am coping well its almost as if the universe has been preparing me for this ultimate test, I hope I am up to the task.

CW,

Wow. I surely hope you have trustworthy support around you, who will let you fall apart when you need to, as you rebuild after such trauma.

Dear Calm Waters,

I am so sorry.   :'(

I hope you continue to work with your therapist.  I can only imagine how horrific that must have been for you.

Sending you healing thoughts and prayers from the heart.