BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: ReluctantSurvivor on December 07, 2014, 05:00:47 PM



Title: Need a safe place to vent.
Post by: ReluctantSurvivor on December 07, 2014, 05:00:47 PM
You go to bat for someone in their darkest hour.  You put every bit of your resources into providing for their needs.  In return, they use you, extract every last drop of life from you and when the well runs dry - they self destruct and move on to a new host.  Some people are ___, not because they do ___ty things - they are ___ because they do ___ty things over and over.  They do this fully aware and refuse to take the steps necessary to change the behaviors that hurt others.   The worst part is their ability to appear as a decent person at first.  They keep the mask on long enough to get into your keep, and then the looting begins.


Title: Re: Need a safe place to vent.
Post by: Hope0807 on December 07, 2014, 05:06:03 PM
Did you not want a reply to this?  Forgive me if that's the case.  Your words were/are mine.  I hope you find peace.  I am not healed, but am definitely grateful for the much more peaceful space I find myself in…and I've only arrived there after seeking explanation beyond the "BPD" label.  I now have those answers that bring me peace. 

You go to bat for someone in their darkest hour.  You put every bit of your resources into providing for their needs.  In return, they use you, extract every last drop of life from you and when the well runs dry - they self destruct and move on to a new host.  Some people are, not because they doty things - they are because they doty things over and over.  They do this fully aware and refuse to take the steps necessary to change the behaviors that hurt others.   The worst part is their ability to appear as a decent person at first.  They keep the mask on long enough to get into your keep, and then the looting begins.



Title: Re: Need a safe place to vent.
Post by: ReluctantSurvivor on December 07, 2014, 06:25:06 PM
Oh replies are fine.  I just needed to let this out before it ended up somewhere awkward like facebook.  I am healing too but sometimes I get hit by a wave.


Title: Re: Need a safe place to vent.
Post by: Hope0807 on December 07, 2014, 06:29:37 PM
Just realized how counter-intuitive to PD survivors your ending quote is:  "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."

My hope is for all PDs to NEVER return to those they have victimized and that for the survivors to find the strength to boot them far away if they do:)

Oh replies are fine.  I just needed to let this out before it ended up somewhere awkward like facebook.  I am healing too but sometimes I get hit by a wave.



Title: Re: Need a safe place to vent.
Post by: ReluctantSurvivor on December 07, 2014, 06:51:11 PM
Very good point about the quote.  I think that quote might apply to people capable of love.  I put it there when I was still in a denial-bargaining stage of grieving. From what I have seen out of my dBPDxgf, she is incapable of love.  She abandoned her own son when he was 4 because the custody fight was too much work.


Title: Re: Need a safe place to vent.
Post by: Hope0807 on December 07, 2014, 09:53:30 PM
Not surprising at all.

Very good point about the quote.  I think that quote might apply to people capable of love.  I put it there when I was still in a denial-bargaining stage of grieving. From what I have seen out of my dBPDxgf, she is incapable of love.  She abandoned her own son when he was 4 because the custody fight was too much work.