BPDFamily.com

My BPDex was in Spain for two weeks and she kept pretty distant from me, and I knew that she was traveling with another guy... .was she sexual with him? I don't know. But I asked her to keep in contact while she was gone and she didn't. So I finally told her on Skype that I cannot keep a Friends with Benefits relationship or even a friendship with her because I cannot trust her. She did not respond. She arrived tonight and texts me "Hi." Should I ignore it? Or come up with something clever to say?

I read you introduction post. Do you want to be done with her? Or have another go?

The answer to the above, should answer your question... .

I'm half and half to be honest... .if it works great, but she also has so much power to ruin me  What would be the best thing to respond?

Take a second to think about this. Separate your heart from your brain. Will it be different this time? Will it end like it did last time? Most recycles end up leaving you feel worse than the first time. think and YOUR future.

She was out of town with another guy and didn't stay in contact with you. I think this pretty much should answer the question as to whether to continue the relationship.  This was very similar to what happened to me except I didn't know she was with someone. Don't respond and get on with your life. If you can't help but respond just tell her she betrayed your trust and that is a deal breaker for you and then go NC. Save yourself from more pain.

She already has done a lot of negative things to me. If she would of loved me like she said she does, she wouldn't of treated me this poorly. I made my decision... .I'm DONE WITH HER! So what is the best way to respond... .Should I even respond?

It's best if you do not respond. She was disrespectful in honoring your request that she stay in contact with you while on her trip. You will respect yourself in the future for not being sucked back in by her. It is hard. You will have withdrawals and want to contact her to get your fix. Start putting your needs first. It's time to take care of yourself. She is no longer your problem.

Thanks a lot for the reply... .I will NOT respond to her... .it's time to get my self respect back and move on with my life :)

Good move, it would just be more of the same my friend.

Be prepared though. By going NC you will probably get bombarded by her attempting to reconnect. If that fails then the usual pattern is hurtful messages telling you how awful you are. Then will be the rub your face in it via social media plus a probable smear campaign. It is all done to get s reaction. Even negative feelings feed a pwBPD as it means you are still thinking about them.

It doesnt always play out as I wrote but it seams a common pattern so just be ready for it and if your determined not to go back have a list of all the hurtful things they did to remind yourself not to fall for it again.

Don't listen to her words. Honestly appraise her actions. Easy to say, hard to do.

As painful as it is... .I would suggest that you go total NC and love you.

Get support here and anywhere that you can... .it gets better, get away from the poison and you will heal.

We are codependent. We need to acknowledge that and be aware of that fact and keep it in mind as we make our choices. It's no accident that we embarked on a relationship with this unhealthy person... .

Run... .and dont look back... .