BPDFamily.com

Hey

Anybody else suffering or think they are suffering from P.T.S.D after the break up? I went and got help from my GP yesterday, told her I was suicidal, been put on anti depressants and will be getting CBT counselling soon hopefully.

Also got the all clear from a STD/ HIV test yesterday. Thank God!

I'm feeling so low, exhausted, shakey  and weak. For some reason I want to reach out to my ex and get some comfort, even though she was never there for me when we were together and I have great support from the few friends I have.

I think I'm going to listen to my body and rest!

H Hi

I went through similar painful "withdrawal" and depression. I am in substance abuse recovery and although my T rec. medication I decided to just tough it out and feel the feelings. I having suicidal thoughts as well.  It was all so so painful. I understand. I got a ton of support at my meetings.

Sounds like you have good support, emotional and medical.  You are making good choices and moving along "through" the aftermath that we suffer. Just keep moving... .you sound good for where you are! Truly.

I guess it is PTSD I just did not know at the time... .no one used those terms... .but I also did not know that I had been in a relationship with a pwBPD until later on... .after most of the drama was over.

I believe I had PTSD post break up. Didnt see anyone about it just dealing with it. I think recognising it is a big help in getting over it. Ive done a fair bit of teaining on recognising it in others due to my job and used it on my self. Not a proper diagnosis but if the cap fits your ptobably not far off the mark.

Admitting PTSD from a relationship is nothing to be ashamed of. As an ex veteran I have been through a lot of stuff and it didnt touch me in comparison to what my ex did to me pscologically.

I agree!

Nothing to be ashamed of. I am like you thought i could handle anything in life... World traveled, was in the service a few years, had some hardships. but nothing compared to the phycological pain & torment i endured from this marriage,, Lost a lot of friends as she inserted herself in my support system. Made me out to be the Olger to gain sympathy from her peers. I had to cut ties with alot of folks, as she played them into PAWNS.  It was not safe for me to have these friendships anymore, as they had no idea what Was going on behind the curtail like the Wizard of Oz.

Now I am doing better,  took about 3 years for me for the PTSD to be delta with completely.  I was numb and my body kicked into surveil mode... .Therapy helped a lot, opening up and getting these emotions i buried out... Cried a lot… Like never before... As some old supporters from the forum said to be when i was recycled  to get away or I will feel pain in ways i never imagined... Unbelivable I tell you… Life is good now. took awhile,, I think  more than losing her, was more pain in losing my community of relationships, that I had history with in travels, and ministries.


Hang in there.  Get therapy. Process.  Succeed.

I sorry to hear you are going through this. I have been broken up with my uBPDbf for a week now and I wake up devastated. I'm at work now and each day since the breakup I'm on this site looking for motivation not to contact him. He has broken me down mentally that I also started to lose myself. I pray each day for strength not to look back and keep moving forward. When I look back on things I realized Igave gave and gave but my needs were met from him so why put   myself through this continuous agony. Everyone's advice here has given me strength as I continue to learn about this disorder. I recommend pray for strength and  continue to post and read other post to help you get through your grief.

My son told me to "Be Strong Mom" He is tired of the drama of the breakups and he sees it's toll on me. Yes, after a week I was still so raw and now at 2 months out I am amazed at my strength. I have remained N/C which has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I know it is what is best for me to sort this all out. The ugly, devastating way he ended this relationship/engagement reminds me of what I would be in for with even L/C. Anger... .that is not what I need to heal.

I too had severe symptoms post my BPD break up including depression and anxiety.

Many of us here experienced mental, emotional and sometimes physical abuse and ended up with trauma and suffer post-traumatic traits, but rarely full blown post-traumatic disorder, as defined by the DSM - either PTSD, or C-PTSD which is more relevant as it deals with prolonged and repeated trauma.

See also this past thread: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=223720.0 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=223720.0)

Hey H Hi, I would suggest that the urge to reach out to your Ex for comfort is quite normal, yet that doesn't mean you should act on it.  Just observe your feelings and then let them go.  You are experiencing something akin to withdrawal and, in my view, are doing the right things. 

Hang in there, LuckyJim

  H Hi

I've read a few of your posts. I feel your pain so clearly. I was there and am still there at times. I have PTSD from what my BPDxw put me through as well, so I can empathize fully with where you are. Social situations trigger me big time, if I don't know the people I'm around well. Also getting emails from my xw trigger me. Sometimes it just takes having certain thoughts and the PTSD gets triggered. Sometimes it still feels like I'm walking on eggshells and the xw isn't even around!

I'm almost 6 months NC. It's taken me a lot of rest and down time to feel as though I can cope with the PTSD symptoms (and the grief).

I try to get outside at least once a day and exercise until I'm exhausted. Getting your heart rate up and breathing deeply helps to balance your vagus nerve.

The vagus nerve is the regulator of your sympathetic and para-sympathedic nervous system. When you are experiencing the symptoms of PTSD it's partly due to your vagus nerve being out of whack. One of the best ways to bring it back to balance is through deep breathing / exercise. An added bonus is it also helps with the anger.

Hang in there brother.

Yes.

Suffered for 1 year in silence before I told my doc.

Good for you for speaking up and being proactive in your health.

It was my experience that when I 'reached out' to then husband/now ex... .that it made things worse.

SO MUCH worse.

It has been 3 years since the onset of PTSD and it has been 6 months since I have seen or spoken to ex (on phone, have to comm. via email still have a house in our names)... .and when I went with the NO contact, it has helped me heal leaps and bounds.

I still have bad days.

I still get depressed.

I still have nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, high alert repsonses... .etc.

BUT

they are fewer and further between.

When I was with him, it was a 24/7 constant state of being.

I was VERY relieved of the 'free and clear' on the std's too! THAT is good news!

Keep talking. If you feel like a burden to family and friends, find a therapist / abuse advocate, someone.

Just keep talking.

Thanks again for all the support and honest replies. 

You guys are truly amazing. I'm lucky in the fact that my closest friend was in a relationship with a BPD guy so she understands completely. Those who haven't, don't fully understand, and nor should they.

I will never reach out to my ex. I tried reaching out twice when we were together due to being stressed at work. The first time I felt so unable to talk to her, I wrote her a letter. It took her a month to reply. The second time I started telling her I was real stressed at work and had had my self confidence knocked. I was tearful as I told her. She just looked at me with disdain and said " you're just talking in half sentences and not making sense". Absolutely zero empathy.

She's going to be one lonely person that will never know real human closeness. She even said she didn't know what to talk to her brothers about as she didn't know what music they liked anymore! She seemed to forget that her brother has a three month old daughter!