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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: captainp on December 09, 2014, 08:14:09 PM



Title: Why Did I Start Missing Her Today?
Post by: captainp on December 09, 2014, 08:14:09 PM


We haven't spoken in almost a month.  The two weeks before that were sporadic angry texts (from her). 

I had gotten to the point where I was hardly thinking about her already.  Then today, I started missing her like crazy. 

I don't get it.  Why?


Title: Re: Why Did I Start Missing Her Today?
Post by: Mutt on December 09, 2014, 10:58:22 PM
I can relate. I felt like I had periods of smooth sailing and then I'd miss her out of the blue. It was hard adjusting to bachelorhood at first for me.

If you think about it. These relationships are VERY intense right?

Idealization phase, the ups and downs, emotional barrages, impulsive acts that illicit emotional responses. It's really hard experiences and I think it takes time to leave it behind and heal.

I don't recall old girlfriends that triggered such painful memories from past relationships. This one was definitely different and likely one I'll never forget and she's one for the books.

It was also one where I learned the most from and became a better man and found my true potential.


Title: Re: Why Did I Start Missing Her Today?
Post by: peiper on December 09, 2014, 11:05:55 PM
I think when I missed her what I was really missing the fantasy she represented, not her.


Title: Re: Why Did I Start Missing Her Today?
Post by: evilpepsi on December 10, 2014, 01:40:32 AM
there are still times in which something can trigger a memory of an ex from years ago and i suddenly find myself missing her. it happens... .


Title: Re: Why Did I Start Missing Her Today?
Post by: Deeno02 on December 10, 2014, 06:20:02 AM
Im 4 months out and barely think of her much. But when it does happen, its a pretty strong feeling. Dont worry about it. It happens. Just try to either take the pain and work with it, or try to force it out of your head. Most times it happens at home. So, I go run or lift. Something to keep the raw nerve intact. Not gonna lie, I do miss her and her kids, especially now with the holidays. But it is what it is. She made a choice to find greener pastures. Our job is to get well again... .