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Beside the fact that the BPD was very annoying and good times where at a low minimum ,obviously we stayed in the relation , ok amazing chemistry perhaps .

What do you guys think ?

Is  that why we still dwell on them . looks like they had a very powerful weapon ?

Yes, i was addicted to the Sex with the BPDx as it was akin to having a porn star at my disposal. Sex played a huge role in what must have been a milliion recycles but at the end of the day it wasn't worth it because be it for me being the "nice guy" or whatever, she chose me to be the one to have to deal with the otherside of her disorder. The guys that were doing her on the side had it good as they just got sex with none of the other crap.

If i could find someone normal that was on her level sexually i would be all set lol.

they are out there bro!

My ex was gorgeous in the beginning of the relationship. But as our relationship progressed she began to gain lots of weight, but for some reason I didn't care. I broke up with an ex before her because I was physically unattracted to her, but for some reason it didn't work that way with this ex... .That's because she did a really good job in bed and in manipulating me.

The sex was amazing and intense, but I've had better. 

In all seriousness, I think it's a topic worth personal exploration. It's important to identify what needs of ours were being fulfilled by our relationships. Sex can be one factor that keeps an otherwise toxic relationship going.


"Normal" is a relative term... .and we all are broken in our ways... .but I've found that there are plenty of sexy, fun, adventurous people out there who are also genuine and capable of mature adult relationships.

I've also found that pwBPD tend to use sex as a weapon and means of control, rather than enjoying it for what it is. This is obvious sometimes in the way they approach sex... .do they ever seem to be able to truly let go and enjoy themselves?... .and also in the way they will withhold sex from a partner, as punishment or other means of exerting power.

Even knowing this, I am still turned on by my exbf, and maybe always will be. The emotional intensity, idealization, intermittent reinforcement, sheer personal chemistry, complementary proclivities, and just plain great sex -- it all combined to make something quite addictive.

But I realize that he is certainly not the only person who can fulfill my needs... .and that I need to take care of myself first in order to find people who can do so in healthy relationships.


The weapons they have against us are the ones we allow them to use. Are you feeling like this is the strongest "weapon" your ex used? If so, why? What do you think this might be telling you about yourself?

In my time I've discovered that great sex is as much psychological as it is physical. I've been with women that were beautiful and sexually uninhibited, and if your mind isn't into it as much as your body, it's just sex (and often quite forgettable). What I think hooks most of us is how the sex made us feel about ourselves. Important, desirable, strong, loved, etc. It's not necessarily the physical sex we were addicted to. It's the psychological part that we get wrapped up in.