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Ive been getting or had been getting aprehensive about the upcoming Volleyball season(She coaches my son) and having to deal with her. Ive come to the conclusion that I really dont care. Sitting in my T's office yesterday and it dawned on me that I really donrt have to deal with her on a personal basis. If she has something to say, its not towards me but to 20-30 other parents there too. That was a liberating thought for me. She has zero reason to interact with me. Now that Im 4 months out and have not seen or heard from her, obviously Im not on her radar and thats great! But, being the military genius I am, I do have a plan. Im not the same I was when we were together. Ive changed style and appearence through working out and eating better to deal with the stress and doing  alot more things that interest me, and frankly, I dont have the albatross of her hanging around my neck. My plan is one of indifference. I dont care if your here, I dont care if your not. I also plan on having a witness for everything if and when she attempts to interact. Keep it professional and keep it short. Not volleyball related? Dont want to hear about it. Be prepared to walk away. I feel much better about it and confident.

Good for you DEENO!

Well done buddy  |iiii

It's great to have a plan, and better to have a 'buddy' with at all times... .

She won't engage you in public. That would shatter her facade of being perfect.

Believe it or not, my ex-wife (son's mother) said she would run interference and witness if need be. My ex wife is pretty angry at the crap my ex/gf said about my daughter

Wow Deeno! Good job! You've come a long way! Good for you!

|iiii

Not gonna lie, its still a little rough. But Im sitting there thinking, "why in the hell am I all butt sore over someone who could give 2 craps if Im even alive? Why? Jeez, this person is a user and abuser and Im all sad and ___ because I got dumped by someone who cant see any kindness in people? She deserves all she gets, Im so done caring for someone who doesnt want to be cared about. So, like she did to me, poof, your gone. Not entertaining this crap anymore from anyone... .

You have come a long way in the short time I've been on this site.  I'm really happy for you! 

You got to Raybo... .we cant let this eat us up. Yes, its painful, but we need to be well and not dwell. I was asked yesterday by my T to find good from this r/s. I couldnt. I did find a lot of good bad stuff. She laughed out loud at that! The good bad stuff is the stuff I found wanting in me. Im co dependant, I enable, I dont like being alone, I obsess over this for no reason. I think its from unresolved issues from my wife leaving me I never put to bed. Its not all me and I wont any longer take full responsibility for this relationship failure. I know what my part is, I claim it. I was a doormat and I allowed this to happen because I had zero boundaries... .none. Let her walk all over me and I helped so I wouldnt be alone. Thats not healthy at all! No more!

You sound empowered Deeno!  So happy for you!  You have done a lot of work to get here, you deserve to feel good about yourself! |iiii

Not that I feel good Pingo. I'm just sick of this ___. What the heck gives them the right to do this BS to people who are far from perfect, but offered them love and patience. Screw them. I'm done with her and her crap. Some one else's problem now. Never again...

I think you're setting a good goal when you say indifference. You are taking positive steps taking care of you. Her actions and behaviors were invalidating Deeno02.

You have many positive qualities. Her loss.

It's commendable Deeno02 that you take what you own in the r/s, the enabling behaviors and discard the rest. I tip my hat to you sir.