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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: nowwhatz on December 13, 2014, 12:19:45 PM



Title: Best Way to End It - Is is worth it to explain the reasons?
Post by: nowwhatz on December 13, 2014, 12:19:45 PM
Pretty close to ending 4 yr r/s with BPDgf.

The BPDgf is in a low state of affairs. Just lost her job. Just got into new apartment with her son and son's gf. Can't find another job because she has a recent felony record for theft (her one time really huge mistake in a life of mistakes).

I hate breakups and the greif and loss that comes with it. Right now this would be a more like a normal breakup then the on/off calamities of the past with this woman.

We have been together for over 1 year now (a record for us).  She has put on about 40-50 lbs and will not excersize, contributes nothing to the r/s, is not interested in sex, doesn't make the smallest effort to do something nice for me in any way (offer to cook a meal, help me with my house or compliment me in any way). She has correctly figured out that I have gotten tired of her. 

I thought about giving her a to-do list in the hopes of bringing life back to the r/s but I don't see that being received well.

I have her on my phone plan and I would turn off her phone after a week or so or order another phone and have it sent to me for my business or personal use. 

She has said she might go back to Mexico... .where her family is. If she didn't have a felony I would encourage her to do that but I believe the victim's family would track her down and make her pay, bring her back here where she would end up in prison, or through some sort of unoficial Mexican justice.

Anyways, the prospects are not good for her future.  She is supposed to see a new doctor and get some financial support from the state for her serious mental illness in the near future.

blah blah blah.   This will go on forever.

Anyone think I should try to end it amicably and stay "friends?"   

Should I tell her why or just say goodbye and good luck?

When I do something wrong and am oblivious or don't want to face it I like it when somebody tells me what I am doing wrong so I can try to not make the same mistakes in the future.



Title: Re: Best Way to End It - Is is worth it to explain the reasons?
Post by: Deeno02 on December 13, 2014, 01:59:57 PM
Pretty close to ending 4 yr r/s with BPDgf.

The BPDgf is in a low state of affairs. Just lost her job. Just got into new apartment with her son and son's gf. Can't find another job because she has a recent felony record for theft (her one time really huge mistake in a life of mistakes).

I hate breakups and the greif and loss that comes with it. Right now this would be a more like a normal breakup then the on/off calamities of the past with this woman.

We have been together for over 1 year now (a record for us).  She has put on about 40-50 lbs and will not excersize, contributes nothing to the r/s, is not interested in sex, doesn't make the smallest effort to do something nice for me in any way (offer to cook a meal, help me with my house or compliment me in any way). She has correctly figured out that I have gotten tired of her. 

I thought about giving her a to-do list in the hopes of bringing life back to the r/s but I don't see that being received well.

I have her on my phone plan and I would turn off her phone after a week or so or order another phone and have it sent to me for my business or personal use. 

She has said she might go back to Mexico... .where her family is. If she didn't have a felony I would encourage her to do that but I believe the victim's family would track her down and make her pay, bring her back here where she would end up in prison, or through some sort of unoficial Mexican justice.

Anyways, the prospects are not good for her future.  She is supposed to see a new doctor and get some financial support from the state for her serious mental illness in the near future.

blah blah blah.   This will go on forever.

Anyone think I should try to end it amicably and stay "friends?"   

Should I tell her why or just say goodbye and good luck?

When I do something wrong and am oblivious or don't want to face it I like it when somebody tells me what I am doing wrong so I can try to not make the same mistakes in the future.

As with anything, your choice. Sounds like you may have already decided. Me? I would haul ass from that train wreck...