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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: lenny136 on December 13, 2014, 05:25:18 PM



Title: I can remember the pain.
Post by: lenny136 on December 13, 2014, 05:25:18 PM
Hello family, I'm lenny. It's been over three year's since I have been on the site. I can remember the pain that brought me to the site. I lost my job when I was going through that stage at that time. That's how bad the pain was when the BPD abandoned me without notice. It took 11 months for the pain to go away (intense). And about a year to heal. What I learn from the experience, was that I wasn't emotionally healthy.  Since then, I have been in another unstablerelationship ( My college professor). This had mental health written all over it.    I thought about myself first an left the relationship, that was over a year ago. That relationship only last 6 months, I didn't get hurt this time. So,my reason for posting, is to say as partners and former partners of someone who suffers from mental illness. we must start to understand an identify things about ourselves that makes us marketable to individuals with mental health problems. as I stated I haven't been on the site in years because I have moved on from the pain. I was just checking in on my family members. to let you know that it gets better,only when you learn from the experience.


Title: Re: I can remember the pain.
Post by: antonio1213 on December 13, 2014, 05:56:57 PM
Thanks for posting this. Emotional health is very important this is what I am learning the hard way. If it took you 11 months that means I have another 8.5 months until the pain stops. Did you actively start to improve yourself or did time heal the wound?


Title: Re: I can remember the pain.
Post by: sirius on December 14, 2014, 08:18:19 PM
Thanks for posting this. Emotional health is very important this is what I am learning the hard way. If it took you 11 months that means I have another 8.5 months until the pain stops. Did you actively start to improve yourself or did time heal the wound?

For me, it's time that healed the would. I did work to find out about myself but mostly the understanding coupled with the time did make me feel and get to a better place


Title: Re: I can remember the pain.
Post by: BorisAcusio on December 15, 2014, 09:01:59 AM
Hello family, I'm lenny. It's been over three year's since I have been on the site. I can remember the pain that brought me to the site. I lost my job when I was going through that stage at that time. That's how bad the pain was when the BPD abandoned me without notice. It took 11 months for the pain to go away (intense). And about a year to heal. What I learn from the experience, was that I wasn't emotionally healthy.  Since then, I have been in another unstablerelationship ( My college professor). This had mental health written all over it.    I thought about myself first an left the relationship, that was over a year ago. That relationship only last 6 months, I didn't get hurt this time. So,my reason for posting, is to say as partners and former partners of someone who suffers from mental illness. we must start to understand an identify things about ourselves that makes us marketable to individuals with mental health problems. as I stated I haven't been on the site in years because I have moved on from the pain. I was just checking in on my family members. to let you know that it gets better,only when you learn from the experience.

Wise words. Thanks for sharing and I'm glad you're over it. The aforementioned two years to recover from an emotionally loaded relationship seems quite common.