BPDFamily.com

I've been absent from this forum for a while now, just trying to deal with things. Also, I've probably been a little on edge without realizing it because our divorce is supposed to be final soon. I haven't been doing so well... .I've gained weight, I'm pretty much isolating myself at home in my off time, I don't do much.

I was assured by my lawyer that I wouldn't have to see her at all, so I've been waiting for his email to let me know the next step.

Then I woke up this morning with the feeling that I had a new notification from her. I literally saw a flash in my mind of an image with my username and that little red circle with a "1" in it that shows up on my phone when I get an email. Sure enough, I got up and checked my email and there it was. I was going to go back to sleep since I don't have to work today but there's no way I'd be able to now.

She emailed asking when I want to finalize the divorce and included some document she googled about how to go about it. First of all, I'm not taking instructions from something my almost-ex-wife googled; I'm gonna listen to my lawyer about how to proceed. I got up, made coffee, and emailed my lawyer about what to do. It's still pretty early in the morning here and I'm sure he's not even in the office yet.

Seeing that email from her just made me feel sick to my stomach. I don't know what it is, but just even seeing her written word makes me sick and the thought of having to see her is just terrifying.

Do you think she's just trying to be in control of the situation? I did ask her previously to not email me. I am mad at myself for letting this bother me so much. I'm waiting for my lawyer to advise, but meanwhile, I just feel haunted and creeped out by her and don't know what to do about it.

In a way it's control. She wants to stay camping in your head.

Is she using an attorney too? If so, what I did was tell my attorney to tell his attorney not to contact me at all. You can also block her from your email. If it is causing you anxiety take that power and control away from her.

And you shouldn't do a thing. That's why you paying a lawyer. Let him handle it,

She is not using an attorney, but she was an attorney till she got fired from her firm.

The only thing I can do to block her on gmail is to filter her emails to the trash. Once the divorce is final, I plan on deactivating that gmail account.

Yeah, I think you're right about her trying to get control and I am absolutely not going to respond to her. I just need this to be done.

Excellent wording. I call it letting someone live in your head rent free... .