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So just got off with expwBPD who I co parent my son with to makes arrangements. I get a msg that says "I need to talk to you about something else... I'm making a will i case something happens to me I want you take take the girls (my step daughters ((we never married but I raised them for 4 years since they were babies)). It's not really affecting me but I'm scratching my head at this request on her part.

Any thoughts? Doesn't seem like a recycle. Just such an odd request after the way things went down.

It could be an attempt to reconnect. It may be her way to let you know how much she thinks of you. What shows more trust than wanting you to have her kids.

You are probably one of the very few trustworthy people in her life, plus you already have a relationship with her daughters. It makes sense that she would think of you to take care of them.

However... .BPD and all that... .there may be something under the surface. Is she the type of person who normally keeps up with her legal documents? Has she made or even mentioned a will before? She may be trying to reconnect, and using the discussion of a will as an "in."

Actually that's very true. I have been around the longest and have raised the girls. Keeping up with legal papers? Heck no. She refuses to even put in the effort to cook let alone have legal documents. This is the first I've heard of a will. These cats are so strange.

Sounds, to me like a typical BPD irratic manipulation.  You state "odd , after the way things went down"... .I am guessing you had a typical devastating BPD break-up and then she turns around with a GIANT emotional hook.  Just more craziness from where I am sitting. Tough to deal with emotionally... .and she knows that. Good luck. Hopefully you can get a lot of emotional support from family and friends. I feel for you.

You are now painted white. And possibly her current supply is now painted black.  Plenty of manipulation also in this one.

'making a will in case something happens to me'

typical poor-pitiful-me stuff... .

it's just an attention-seeking manipulation, that's all... .nothing to see here 

I agree with Antelope. She wants attention and a way to reconnect to you through drama. Poor me, look at me... .she knows how to manipulate and figured this would be a good way to control again... .

That sucks for her. I've cycling through a lot of emotions about this. Maybe she is feeling me drift or something. I ran across codependency last night. Ding ding! I'm committing myself to my own recovery from this, then to resolving my misguided learned behavior/thoughts that led me to become this. It really is strange though... .When you have felt a certain way your whole life, you have no clue how broken you really are. I was thinking about my childhood on the way to work today. There's definately some crap that needs to be sorted out there.

Use it as a spark to turn Mr. Shambles into Mr. All-Together!  |iiii

Hi mr. Shambles,

I feel for you and the situation you are in.

IMO, these type of questions are not asked over text. My sister asked me the same question in person and we had a long talk about what she wanted for her kids and what she wanted from me. Its not some spur of the moment thing you text someone.

My guess its an act out of BPD impuls. She may have seen a movie, overheared a conversation and got the idea and saw an opportunity to hook you back in.

In my experience My exBPD would mention all kinds of plan and ideas, then I would worry and ruminate about it and in the end he would never take action... And my energy was wasted worrying... .Very typicall.

If she is serious... .How will that work if the next love of her life comes along? If she gets married? I had a SD too, she was 5 when me and my non-bf started dating. I raised her for 4 years. When we broke up (good terms) we stayed in touch for a bit, but it got too complicated for her. Her bio parents split up, her mom had a new bf, me and her dad split up and how would it work if my ex got a new gf? It would be weird if SD was still close to me. So I let go. She is not my daughter, I do care for her very much and I send her bd-cards and we see each other once a year. But in the end she has a father and a mother, she is not my responsibility any longer. But I will always care and when she needs me, ill be there. My point being, would this work in the long run?

Good luck with this situation.