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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: GlitterBug on December 18, 2014, 07:35:47 AM



Title: Weird 3rd Party Contact after 10 months?
Post by: GlitterBug on December 18, 2014, 07:35:47 AM
Soo It's been 10 months since I was painted Black and cut out of her life.

I have tried my best to move forwrad with my life and I'm feeling way more positive about things than I was 9 months ago.

So before things went sour we booked concert tickets for a gig- it was originally meant to be in May 2014 but was postponed until December.

The tickets were ordered in my name way back in Nov 2013 but I was given the money by all parties.

So I've heard nothing from her or our mutual friends who were due to come as well for over 10months - I've stayed NC with pwBPD after I was told to 'never contact her again'. Our mutual friends have slowly sided with her and began ignoring my attempts at contact after a couple of months.

So fastforwrad to December and zero contact from anyone including pwBPD... .I decided to still go to the gig with a friend as no one had contacted me to ask for the tickets or indeed the money and I had no desire to break NC or indeed give them anything at all after what they have put me through.

The show started at 7:45pm and whilst I was in the bathroom at the venue, I felt my phoen vibrate in my pocket.

At precisely 7:44pm I had a message from the ex boyfiend of the pwBPD with whom she has a child and remains on good terms (mainly because he is a financial benefit to her).

The message said ' * Name* Has asked if you can give her and *name* their money back for the concert tickets'.

Immediately I was right back in the fog - The message was deliberately sent on this day and at this time because she knew I would be there.

I didn't repsond that evening but I responded the following day asking for account details and the money would be trnasferred after xmas.

To date I have not had a reply.


The tickets were only £20 each so not a huge amount of money - Surely for the same of £20 she would've stayed away and continued to ignore my very existance~?

I guess what im confused by is why she got her ex BF to ask the question?

And why now? If I were her I would just write-off the £20 and move on.

I don't have a problem with giving them the cash back although I find it a little cheeky especially as I would buy nappies, food, pay outstanding bills and give her cash when she had made her usual cycle of terrible financial decisions - I never asked for anything back.

Is this her way of trying to control the situation 10 months on? Perhaps because I haven't tried to reconcile with her?

I know from the past that she often dysregulates around Christmas time and I would usually be the one to hold things together.